Have you ever felt like you are sleep walking through your life. You wake up go to school, go to work, go wherever. But when you lay your head to reset at night you feel unfulfilled, like your whole day was an absolute waste even if it was productive in the worlds eyes but in your soul it was a complete waste of time.
I always felt that way about my life. I felt like I was just going through the motions, no purpose, no importance just doing what everyone else was. I always hungered for more the just the status quo. I wanted to be apart of great things, change the world for the better and most importantly love the way God loves me. I knew that with my current lifestyle I was going no where and all the great ideas I thought up in the shower were always going to be JUST ideas. I knew I needed a radical change but the way it came was very unexpected and rocked my core harder then I could have ever imagined.
September 12, 2011 I lost my home in a fire. As I sat in the road and watched my home go up in flames I was totally distraught. It was the placed I lived my whole life, it was not just my house it was my Home! The only thing I knew. Months passed and I still didn’t understand the reason behind the fire. I believe things happen for a reason but I could not even begin to think how good could come from losing my home.
As the next school year came I moved into a different town. I tried to keep my mind open to the change. I attended a private school which I completely hated. I missed my friends and my old town. I could not understand how God could let my parents send me to place I hated being at so much. Once again I could see no good coming out of my new school/ environment.
While the year was coming to an end I got the chance to meet an amazing woman named Jana. She was anything but ordinary. She lived radical for the sake of the gospel and just being around her gave me such joy. I admired her very much. She Adopted several children from Haiti and told several students at our school how she would be returning in the summer to let her adopted children reunite with their biological parents. I was extremely excited and jumped at the chance to travel. So of course I signed up and that following summer I was off to see the world (well at least that’s what it felt like). I never knew how much Haiti would effect me. It set my soul on fire and I knew upon my return to America, mission work was my calling.
Seeing the people and hearing their stories made me question everything I was doing in my life. They did not go through the motions, they lived with a purpose and they praised God even if they had nothing. The Haitians taught me more about my self in one week then I have ever tried to learn my whole life. When I arrived home I did not want to speak to anyone. I wanted to be alone and evaluate everything that had happened. I had questions and God had the answers. That night everything clicked. The loss of my home and the attending of my new school were all set in place so that I could be broken and be made new again. God made beauty out of my ashes and he proved to me that when his hands are on something nothing but good will come out, even if you can’t see it at first God always has a perfectly crafted plan.
