2 days. Launch is in 2 days and I am caught up. Caught up in packing. Seriously I’ve packed and repacked 10+ times. I think I’m finished. All my worldly possessions either sold, stored at my mom’s, or squeezed into a backpack. Caught up in goodbyes. See you laters have been coming in all shapes & sizes lately. Over coffee, at restaurants, with ice cream sundaes and tearful hugs in parking lots. Caught up in excitement. My team will be in Bogota, Colombia serving with a ministry called Formavida. We will be working with children & youth ministries, homework help, english classes, church services and ministries in schools. For those of you who know me can you picture the enormous smile on my face after hearing this? Just overall excited to go and do all the things. But for real guys as excited as I’ve been I’ve also been caught up in worry too. Some worries small and others more like mountains. I tried to ignore the anxieties and nervousness but it became more difficult to do when I’d feel unexpected tears in my eyes while checking out at Target or watching This Is Us (okay so those tears might’ve been legitimately about the show but you get my point). Anyways, tired of these unexpected outbursts I want to take this space and acknowledge my concerns. Any worry big or small weighing on my mind I’d like to write down here and cast them on the Lord.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you
-1 Peter 5:7
I’m worried I’ll miss my people.
I’m worried I’ll feel loneliness while never actually being alone.
I’m worried about missing milestone events like my best friend’s graduation in December. (Girl I’m so proud of you!)
I’m worried about the many more goodbyes to happen every month.
I’m worried that they’ll forget me, the littlest of kiddos have short memories just saying.
I’m worried about saying goodbye to the person I am today and the community I love here.
I’m worried about maybe not being able to hold it while on a long bus ride. Ya know what I mean. (& hey I warned you big OR small)
I’m worried about being so far away on october 16th while my grandpa has surgery.
and I’m worried about what I haven’t even thought of to worry about yet.
So with that I surrender my fears and lay them down at God’s feet. I know that everything is in his hands and he’s got this. Giving these to him knocks down the looming mountain they all piled up to be for me
‘do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’
-Philippians 4:6-7
