People keep asking me “Aren’t you scared?” “What will you do without your mom/brother/dog/family for 11 months?!” “What if you don’t raise the money?” “What if you don’t get along with your teammates?” “What if before you leave you meet a guy and want to get married?” and “What if you get sick?”. All valid questions but when I hear them they catch me off-guard. An unrehearsed answer then tumbles from my lips “Um…uh…well no, not really…Idk…”. I’m stunned by all the questions and what-ifs. Not because I’m offended but because my mind hadn’t even gone there before.
So I wanted to compose a more eloquent answer for when these questions come up. First thing you should know about me is that in everyday life I’m social but introverted. You know the type. She’s friendly but shy, avoids drawn out eye contact and rushes through conversations. I’m working on it. I believe we all have different gifts and natural abilities given to us by our Creator. But just because I don’t have the gift of evangelism or public speaking doesn’t mean He won’t ask me to do it to further his kingdom. I think it’s quite the opposite actually. ‘For my power is made perfect in weakness’ the Bible says. And when Moses pleaded with the Lord saying he wasn’t eloquent enough the Lord responded with “Who has made the man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” (Exodus 4:11-12) And yes if you’re familiar with the story He ends up using Aaron to speak for Moses but it always struck me how He first offered to prepare Moses to do it in spite of his weakness. Have you ever just asked yourself what if he had been willing?
So in preparation for the coming year I want to ready myself to be willing. Essentially to ready myself to do whatever He asks of me. No matter how uncomfortable or unqualified I may feel about it. Because I’m quite certain He’ll ask since I am a daughter of the King and He kinda has a habit of using conflict and challenging situations to strengthen and mold me. So here it is my thought out answer to all of your what ifs:
Yes fear could be there at some points but God will be too so I am not fearful. Yes I love and will miss my family but their support and love is what motivates me to go and spread Christ’s love. Yes the fundraising amount is big but my God is bigger. Yes that would be difficult but I love them all already. Yes that would make much more sense at this stage of my life but I am convicted that THIS is the path He has for me. and Yes that would be rough but I could get sick here at home and it would be rough too. So as valid as the What-ifs are and as beneficial as its been to think through them… My answer boils down to this. I’m not afraid and I’m not thinking of a plan B because I GET to be the hands and feet of Jesus on this earth. I GET to explore new places and cultivate relationships with new people. I GET to deepen my relationship with my Savior and strengthen my faith.
This is an incredible opportunity and I think sometimes just maybe ‘What If I was created for such a time as this?’
