One of the biggest lies that I have combated on the World Race, is that I am unqualified, undeserving, or unworthy. Who am I to be doing mission work? Aren’t there more qualified people? What about those that are literally dying for their faith? What about the ones discipling multiple generations? What about the crazy stories and miracles? Am I doing enough?…………Am I enough?
There it is, that lie raises its ugly head one more time. It comes at me from different angles. I struggle to separate my worth and value in the kingdom from what I do and my reputation. While in the past years, God has so gently separated my worth and identity from sports, school, and work, the last main stronghold is ministry. I wish it wasn’t so easy to fall into old thought patterns of worth and faith.
Something so profound and simple that a friend said recently is, “God does not use missionaries to reach the world, He uses His kids to reach the world.” Does every follower of Christ share the same mission and is every follower on mission, yes absolutely! But the beauty of this statement to me, is the identity as His child. You can’t ever lose the status of son or daughter. It’s not something you could be fired or laid off from–there are no interviews or, “I’m sorry you’re not what we’re looking for,” as children.”
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).
There are verses on verses about how Jesus came as God’s son so that we could know the Father. “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them” (John17:26). How many references are there about God being a good father or about coming with a childlike heart or about being adopted sons and daughters and co-heirs with Christ?
The truth is in and of myself and in my own strength, I am completely unqualified to be sharing God’s love. BUT through Christ and in Christ I can and do know the love of the Father and can freely share it. My sins are forgiven, and His love for me does not depend on what I do. I am unconditionally and unequivocally loved as a daughter of the Lord most High, and yet my old thoughts say that is foolishness. How could He truly want me–just me as I am? How could He move in power and love through me? But the incredible mind boggling truth is that I am fully known and fully loved, and I am enough–there is nothing lacking as I have been made new in Christ Jesus–and I can chose to walk in that authority.
I believe this has been one of my biggest personal struggles in raising funds and asking/inviting people to support this mission trip. It’s hard to see my life in Christ and obedience to His Spirit as “worth it.” Oh my heart is quick to disqualify myself from following after my Jesus. In the masses who follow Him, I fear unworthiness and hang back. But He stops everything to meet me in that place and remind me He has been there, pursuing me, wanting me, the whole time.
If you have ever struggled with the lie of not being enough or assuming God should send some else, I would simply encourage you to get to know the heart of the Father. Daily, I’m getting to know Him more and more and the lies and fears that once stuck are beginning to fall off and be replaced with truths.
PRAISE! My teammate Valerie is fully funded. Thank you so much for your prayers. God is doing a mighty move in the believers of Kazakhstan. We were just able to be a part of a worship conference for believers all over the Stan countries. I would love to invite you to be praying over universities and over the villages here. They are predominantly Islamic communities. I would also love bold prayers over my fundraising. What a journey it has been and God is shaping my heart so much through it. Praise, I only have $1,800 left to go. Which means I am 90% funded and just in need of the last 10%.
Thank you so much for sharing in this journey with me!
Blessings,
Bre
