I know I shouldn’t live with hate in my heart, but I’ve tried getting along with her for too long now and I’m done trying. She actually believes she is fat, but she isn’t. She has an ugly heart. She is so incredibly rude and inappropriate almost every time she says something. She is the most selfish person I know. She has NO patience. She doesn’t love correctly. Especially a man. She doesn’t even trust people because of her scars from the past. Most of the things she does is so others will like her. She is a gossip. Worst of all she is a sorry excuse of a Christian. She hates herself just as much as I do. Who is this mystery girl? Me.
The worst part about this post is that it’s true. I am my own worst critic. A lot of people who know me, probably don’t even know I feel this way. I’m working on these flaws the best I can. The best thing that has happened to me since I’ve started my WR journey is I am changing for the better. I’ve been seeing the generosity of my friends and family, the kindness of strangers who over hear me talking about the race and donate/pray for me, I see the bigger picture of life and the most amazing change I’ve noticed is that I now see the good in the bad. I no longer pray for myself to get through a tough situation, I pray for the person who felt the need to cause the problem because they obviously need God’s guidance more than I do.
My life has changed drastically since I’ve been accepted. I’m inspired by my fellow teammates and other racers. I listen to God more and turn to him during trials for guidance. Things seem to be easier and a lot more positive. Last week is a great example. I got a good jump on my fundraising efforts: set up a yard sale date, my shirts came in that I sold, the candles that were donated came in so all we have to do is get my WR labels on, we (my mom, her friend and I) have decided that a bake sale Father’s Day weekend would be a great opportunity, I had several meetings with donors to share my story and pray for my team and I, and yesterday my mom saw in the local paper there is a Strawberry Jazz Festival June 1st so I’m going to call to set a booth up there. I also got to go to the movies with my friends (which never happens because all three of us have such different work schedules and are very busy) so it was great to see them. On Thursday I had my teammates from back in the day scrimmage my girls that I’m coaching now, so that was very entertaining and great to see old friends. It was also great to see people so willing to help me by dusting 10 years of dust off their softball gloves and taking the time out of their busy schedules to help me teach these girls. Finally this weekend (which was my favorite part of the week) my sister, brother and I helped my mom clean out her garage and sheds. Then my dad came and pulled out two trees that were dead, and we mowed/trimmed the yard for her, which seems like a small task but they have a 7 acre yard so it’s not. lol Then us 5 went out for dinner and had a great time laughing and telling stories.
I know every week won’t be that great and I will come up against trials, but the difference is now I’m ready. There isn’t anything I can’t handle!! : )
