Every moment of life presents itself with a choice and the choice that you make will either better you and those around you or it will cause pain and destruction. When life is hard we have a choice to blame our circumstance and those around us or we can choose to trust God and the promises he gave. The truth is life is hard and through out our years we have disappointments,deaths, sickness, frustrations and lost dreams. For me their have been several seasons where it seems my family and I have been hit to the point we don’t know how to get up, but God has never left. I’ve learned that it’s when you come to the end of yourself, the end of your answers,explanations,why’s,how’s and who’s that you truly begin to experience a loving God. A Father that has been next to you through every tear and had an answer in every moment. We often want to feel him and have some super natural experience and praise God that can happen, but my favorite times have been when I have a choice to see if I truly believe what he has spoken to me. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6
He will never leave or forsake you or me! We have a choice to choose life, to be victorious and not allow ourselves to become the status quo and victims to our past and present circumstances. I have in the past found myself comparing my story to others so I have the excuse to say i’ve been through more and that I have an excuse for why I am the way that I am. It once became my identity that I was this wounded unique young woman whom God gave strong gifts because of what I had gone through. For the longest time I secretly wore a badge that said my testimony is harder than yours so I must know more and be more important. These are hard things to admit and be vulnerable about, but that was the ugliness of my heart. My identity was rooted in how hard life could hit me and how in my own ability I used my own strength and pulled myself back up. It took me hundreds of falls on my face to finally realize that God wasn’t first in my life I was. I had somewhere along the way made myself my God in that I would be strong on my own and invite him in later. I thought to myself life is hard, but it’s nothing I can’t handle rub some dirt in in and keep going.
At 28 years old I can confidently say I am just a daughter with a life testimony that is no greater or no less than anyone else’s. My greatest desire is that my life would be a testimony that would so glorify my Father that those around me who hear it would have a better perspective of his love and nature. Many reading this blog might be questioning Gods love because to your past, those who you lost to sickness or just the harshness of life. My only answer to you is to hold on and pray the God will show you his love for you. He is faithful and good! I have experienced those moments in life that seem grey and make you question his nature but my prayer for you is that you won’t stop pursuing him until he shows you a piece of who he is.
My last few words to you and myself are what choice do we choose today? Do we choose to trust God or do we choose to trust our circumstance? We have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of us to choose to be a victim or a victor, to blame others or take responsibility, to trust God or to trust man. It’s the greatest gift God has ever given man, he gave a choice! You get to choose how you want to believe and how you want to live your life.
