Warning. The content and story within this blog is 100% true and entirely unadulterated. While this blog is not offensive; it is filled to the brim with poop jokes and potty humor. Only read if you have a sense of humor. If you are a person who does not appreciate these kinds of jokes, please do not read this blog. I do not want to get emails saying I am vulgar. If you read this blog, it’s on you. Thank you and God bless 🙂
P.S.
Sorry Adventures In Missions for being honest. Please do not kick me off The Race.
Love, Brandon
When Racers talk about the Race it seems that there is one topic that seems to always be consistently discussed. Poop. Ah yes. Poop. Every Racer seems to have a poop story, and whether it’s a story discussing how you pooped your pants (hasnt happened to me yet) or just dealing with poopy situations, they are a staple to the World Race. Also, I have only been on the World Race for one month and already my team and I have a poop story. Lets set the stage!!
In the Dominican Republic, plumbing is pretty terrible. Almost everywhere in the country the sewage pipes clog, burst, or back up into a disgusting mess and so our squad leaders made us very aware of the situation during our first stop in the country as we drove to our ministry site.
“DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET PAPER!!” Our Squad Leaders made the point very clear for all of us that under no circumstances should we ever do what is so habit for us.
When my team and I arrived at our ministry site, our host again made it very clear that under no circumstances should we ever flush toilet paper. “If you flush toilet paper down the toilet the pipes will clog, back up, and then flood the whole house. So please be careful to not flush the toilet paper. Please throw it in the trash which is next to the toilet.” Easy enough right? So we agreed to what she said and made sure to lock it into our minds that under no circumstances should we ever throw away toilet paper into the toilet. Does it sound like I am repeating myself?
After our contact left the house and we got ready for bed we continued to remember the Golden Brown Rule (poop joke!!). Regrettably though, it turns out it’s actually rather difficult to just flip the switch on something that is pretty habit….
Yes. I dropped the toilet paper into the toilet. Don’t judge me until you experience it. After a glorious few minutes on the Super Bowl, I spread my legs, and without thinking, broke the Golden Brown Rule. Oh no. Dear God. Please no. Yes. I had broken the Golden Brown Rule.
While looking inside the toilet you could see the toilet paper. It was at the bottom of the bowl and never in my life had I felt so close but so far away from something. Floating above it was poop in a sea of green (I was dehydrated, Im sorry). As I looked at it all, dazed in shock, I eventually came to my senses and decided action must be done… So I went for it.
Yes, I touched poop, and so in preparation for if this horrible event ever happens again, my team and I now have a designated “Poop Stick” that we use to fish out toilet paper. Also, we have a game that we have been playing that penalizes you for dropping toilet paper into the toilet.
Long story short, heed this warning I am about to give you. Please, future Racers, work on controlling those habits that have become second nature for you. If you think you might have a problem with something like this. Sit on the toilet and practice wiping your bum and then throwing your T.P. in the trash. Because if you dont…. You might be touching some poop while you are on The World Race.
