Hey everyone finely got this blog worked out! 🙂 where to even start?!? Guess I can start with where I’m currently at with god and life and share a lil bout the race, one thing for sure a lot of you are go’n to get to know me on a much closer level, there’s only 4 people in my life I will openly share my heart with, but as I start on this new assignment I am opening my self up and go’n to share my heart on this blog with all of you that choose to fallow and support and pray with me on this new assignment the Lord has called me to, I’ve gone almost a year now with no assignment, and bout 6 or so months of that time was the hardest and most darkest time I’ve ever endured, heart broken and mad at god to the point where I pretty much just gave god the finger, but thanks to the spacial friends/family god has put in my life, especially the one I love the most, if not for that person I would still be lost, I been back strait with god for bout 4 months now, and he’s been jack’n my world up haha, it still has not been easy thou, god kind’a put me on lock down, and took away the only thing I had that gave me hope and a purpose, it was that hope and his promise that brought me to a place where I could go all in for god and have learned how to worship again like I never have In my life, and just when things are go’n good and he confirms his promise to me in quite a few ways, he strips it away and tells me to let go of the one thing I love most, so I’ve been try’n real hard to be obedient as hard as it is, even to the point of letting go of his promise completely, but in that he won’t let me let go of the promise it self, and I know now that part of the reason I’m spost to go on this mission trip for 11 months is to show God that I trust him to one day fulfill that promise, instead of me stay’n and try’n to make it come true my self, witch I know would cause me to lose his promise completely, and also in all this I’m starting to see y god has put me through this, and how it has a purpose on this mission trip, Love. Love is what I fill like god wants me to be on this trip, now that I know what it means to truly love as well as the pain of love, to know what It means to have to love someone enough to let that person go just as God had to let his son go on the cross and let him die, I know on this trip I will encounter many people women children and men, that have never known real love much less the love of Christ, maybe god can use me to show Love to the lost and lonely hearted, I know what it’s like to be lost and lonely, I’ve endured the pain of loneliness most of my life, I can understand people that everybody thinks there good and do’n great, and nobody expects it when they go shoot up a school or blow up a church or something of that nature, it’s not that they are evil or demon possessed, or need to be in a crazy hospital, a lonely broken heart can be a dangerous thing, yet can go completely unnoticed for years, I’ve been there, so I know God has a purpose for me to be Love to the lonely and broken on this trip. and here I am share’n things on my heart that Cameron has never even heard me speak of, I’ve always been a cautious man when it comes to talk’n, not because I was shy but more so that I realize that words are what man live by, and the only way I know how to talk is say what’s on my heart, yet only trusted bout four people enough to share my heart with them, and that’s part of y I’m a man of few words. The squad that I’m on (P squad) has bout 6 men counting myself and bout 60 women, so pray for us men we be greatly out numbered haha Be sure to fallow my blog so you can keep up with me on this journey god has me on, and fill free to support me financially too 🙂
