“U.S.A! U.S.A!” I softly yet patriotically chanted as the plane touched the LAX tarmac. Boom, just like that, back to the good ol’ states! I can’t believe the life I’ve known for the past 3/4 of a year has ended.
I can’t believe that the squad that I have loved, prayed for, and put my heart and soul into has already dispersed throughout the nation (and world *cough-cough Cindy and Kourtney). The people that I loved and loved me — my family — is now abruptly gone!
Luckily my emotional low was sort of comforted by a 3×3 In-n-Out burger (with spread and cheese only, of course) and an unforgettable and dope reunion with my brother. The best part too was when Jacob pulled out a World Race care package created by him and his friends. It was complete with Lucky Charms, peptobismol, goldfish, sour patch kids, and popcorn — all covered with encouraging words.
Ahh thank the Lord. The very next morning I got my lucky charms, stole (accidentally) Jacob’s roommate’s milk and poured myself a bowl.
The best part was going up to a secluded mountaintop with my bro and his Jesus-filled friends and we worshipped together. They also helped me process and welcomed me so well back home! Thank you Kolle and Maggie and Riley and my bro Jake!
Thank the Lord for good food and good friends.
The Challenges
So, I saw coming home to be quite the challenge. As I write this blog on day 5 of being home, I can say I was emotionally and spiritually well prepared, yet that doesn’t necessarily change the difficulty level. A storm’s still a storm!
The hardest part has been waking up without my familiar squamates besides me. It wasn’t just the fact that waking up alone got me, but that my team, like Jack, Emily, Nate, Mallory, and Lily and all the guys and really just everybody were all gone now. It’s like a part of my heart got divided into 33 pieces and scattered about the world.
I find that each morning gets harder. I also get lots of random memories throughout the day of the Race. The moments I miss the most are the little ones. The laughter, the jokes, even just riding bikes or tuk tuks or assembly-lining bricks with the guys. I could endlessly list the good memories. Its crazy how much life on mission became life for me.
Through the pain, I have no regrets. I have no regret pouring my heart and soul into them, even though I knew it would hurt at the end. Ever-present Jesus is my anchor, so I’m not in despair, but man it hurts. I would never have done the Race or poured out myself any less looking back on it. I did everything I could do with the strength I had, I used all the wisdom I knew I had at the time, and I said “yes!” as much as possible. I guess what else can you do in life?
The Blessings
Being back in the States is like a dream. I became very, very appreciative of the widely available and even free things (drinking fountains! bathrooms!). AC, beds, pillows, and privacy are great blessings. I know it can be common for people coming off the field to be critical of the unusually ultra-rich American folks.
My changed perspective on this is that us Americans really have it good, and I lovingly say that I think lots of us don’t realize it. I’m not applying blame — it can often take firsthand experience to know your blessings. We have fewer problems than we think, especially compared to the other parts of the world, so my advice for Americans is to be grateful for every little thing. Don’t worry, its not the end of the world even though the news makes it seem that way.
I’m so thankful now that I can choose any type of food (good food at that!), at almost any time, and only a few minutes drive away. Now thats pretty great. There’s so much potential to do lots of cool things.
Its great, too, hearing people who speak English. Church was so great today because I actually understood the worship and sermons! Finally filled up again. Thank you God! Plus, the folks at church are outstanding. My brother’s church is full of the Spirit, and its not something I’m saying because they’re happy-clappy but because they are actually engaged at loving people, welcoming them, and being family. I felt genuinely loved there. I was so blessed to be able to come to his church as my first Sunday! A true Godsend.
What’s different?
I’ve definitely changed so much as a person, specifically with how I’ve grown up. I’m not a child anymore. Anyone who thinks of me as one I will lovingly recognize as wrong. I honestly won’t be offended because a child is not truthfully who I am. I mean, I may be 19 but I’m no boy anymore.
Even though I was pretty emotionally and spiritually independent before the Race, I’ve made leaps and bounds as a man of God and I have plenty of experience living on my own now. One thing I loved about training camp back in June was that the leaders took us guys together and told us “We dont call you boys here, because that’s not who you are. You are men. We will call you men here.”
Its amazing how much someone who trusts what godly people say can grow in identity if they just hear certain phrases about them over and over again. I think that’s one way in which I changed the way I see myself.
I actually really haven’t processed too much on what’s different now. I think that will be revealed as I engage American life again these next couple months. Its pretty overwhelming!
What’s next?
During the Race, my passion, and I suppose you can say calling, was greatly solidified. I knew in myself that I’ve always loved ingenuity, efficiency, and all that cool stuff (a.k.a engineering). And, I also realized how freakin cool plants are. Plus, I also realized how much the world (especially the developing world) needs to learn how to grow plants like a boss.
I found a big need in both the developed and undeveloped world is the need for increasingly efficient farming equipment and also smarter, more sustainable farming practices. And the gospel and church partnership would ideally be a big part of making that reality! I can do any good ol’ humanitarian work, but its the church that carries the presence of God.
My heart is to empower —to equip and support— people worldwide that have the desire and willingness to farm in a more profitable, sustainable, and efficient manner. I know enough about missions that top-town-handout-my-way-or-the-highway missions aren’t really that much of a good idea… So, I’ll see what using my abilities will look like in the future. I’m not done with missions, either! I’d love to do more when the opportunity arises. Belgium and Japan are musts.
Anyway, I found that Cal Poly San Luis Obispo has a pretty sweet Ag Engineering program and is right up my alley. I just toured it and its pretty cool! It just felt right – I was walking through the Ag laboratories and workshops and I felt just like Peter Parker at the Oscorp labs. He was like “Woah!” the whole time. Its also where he got bit by that spider that gave him special powers but whatever.
So that’s where I’m going in September 2017. As for the far future, I’ll worry about that when its time to.
Thank you!
Thank you all. Those of you who prayed for me behind the scenes every day or every week or whatever, I honor you. the Lord heard your prayers. I know that because there would be random moments when I would just randomly feel peace or wake up with it. There would be these crazy divine moments or appointments that I definitely didn’t pray for at the time. God’s hand covered my ministry, my squad, my hosts, my team, and me because y’all asked God to.
I’d also like do honor my financial supporters. Your investments in this trip did NOT return void in any way. In fact, this trip bore lasting, eternal fruit, and we may never know the long-term effect this trip had on the places I travelled. Dozens accepted Jesus in Lesotho, Guatemalans were supernaturally touched by the love of God, A Buddhist in Cambodia was stirred to learn about Jesus.
So for your support, I’m deeply, deeply grateful. Thank you all SO much for following me and supporting me on this journey. It was awesome. I had fun, I travelled, I met with Jesus and Jesus did some awesome, awesome, awesome, never-ending, glorious things.
I have fought the good fight. I have finished the Race. I have kept the faith. The Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
— Paul’s “End of Race Speech” (2 Tim. 4:7,17-18)
The adventure has just begun.
With Love,
Brandon
