Hello there loyal blog readers, and all others who have just stumbled upon this blog! This is an update blog, a chance for me to let you all know where I am at. Not just about support but also a little bit about where I am at personally.
First I figure I will tell you about where I am at and what has changed in me since the last time I set foot in the states. I never fully knew my dependence on technology and things of that nature until I began on the race. I was so attached to my computer and to the internet. When I was first in Moldova and I knew that we would not have access to the internet it was almost like someone took my breath away.
The first thing that I thought about was the fact that at training camp, I wish I could remember who, but someone said that internet is a lot easier to find around the world the you’d think. When I heard that, I was personally pleased, knowing that I wouldn’t have to give too much up while out in the field for 11 months. But while I was in India on my third month I realized something. I realized that I was way too dependent on having the internet and wanting to use it and to disconnect from the people and things around me.
The situation went a little bit like this. We stayed at the ministry headquarters on the weekends but during the week we would stay out in a village church. This church had the basics that we needed, really all it had was a bathroom and electricity. What really gave me this change of heart was the fact that on Thursdays and Fridays when I knew that we would be heading back to the HQ I couldn’t help but have my mind clouded with the excitement of being able to get on the internet and see how everything is going back at home and around the world. I found myself consumed by things on the internet that I wouldn’t really care about while at home, I read more international news articles that month then I ever have in my life.
Back to the point, it clouded my mind and as much as I didn’t want it to it affected my ministry. At the end of the day on Fridays I would no longer be thinking about the people we were visiting with fully. I mean I was still there mentally but I would say that I was partially checked out, and that makes me a little bit sad because these people that we were visiting were so excited to see us and they would go out of their way to make sure that we were comfortable. They would often go as far as to send someone to a local store to buy us all a soda. While they were so happy to see us I was so indifferent, I appeared to be overjoyed to meet them and to be at their house but on the inside I wasn’t fully there.
So I began to pray, I began to ask God what I should do to combat these feelings. The answer I got was the one that I was afraid of, the only thing that I was hearing from the Lord was to get rid of my computer. That simply was not an option, I mean I still had an extended warrantee on that thing! NOT AN OPTION!! So I had it with me while I was in Nepal and guess what! We didn’t have internet often at all and we never knew when we might be able to get that internet. You will never guess what happened, my dependency on my laptop changed from being on the internet to playing all of these stupid games that were on my computer, now I’m not even talking about ones that I bought, I was playing those time-wasting games that to be honest I don’t think anyone actually plays unless they are trying to waste time. I had a moment at about the middle of the month a moment where I just took a step back and had a deep realization that the Lord was correct. Funny, that I even thought that the Lord didn’t know what was good for me.
So I shipped my laptop home. I sent that thing as far away from me as I possibly could. Guess what happened last month? I’m sure you will never guess what happened!! Ok maybe you can guess that I had the most personal growth I have had over the past 5 months. I guess the moral of that story is to just listen to the Lord even though you may not like what he’s telling you. It’s for your own good.
So that was a little bit about how I have grown. Now here’s the update about how my support raising is going. Currently with all of your generous donations we are approaching our goal of $15,500. However there is still a chunk left to raise, we are still short $3,400 I am simply amazed because I never thought that we would ever make it to this point and I am so thankful for everything that has come in. I really don’t know if I could ever thank you all enough. Here comes the part that I find the hardest to do, to ask for help. Yet it is one of those things that I must do, because as much as I pray for God to help me, I must open every avenue for him to be able to help me. I would love for God to provide in the style of a Monopoly Chance Card bank error. The odds of it happening that way are just too slim. So if you are feeling it in your heart that you might want to help me out. I would say pray on it, shut off your own voice and ask the Lord. Because sometimes our own voice seems to be louder then the voice of the Lord and honestly God is always correct. It is my hope and my prayer that you will be able to find it in your heart and that you may be able to hear the voice of the Lord telling you to help me.
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