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Interesting title, and I am sure you are wondering what it
means. Well it means that on Sunday after church Cindy, Katie, Patrick and I
went to look at a waterfall, and as we were crossing and re-crossing the river
downstream from the waterfall we came to a part that was a bit wider than the
rest, and the current was a bit stronger than the others, and the girls were a
bit more hesitant to cross than before. So I nimbly hopped across (ha) and held
out my hand to help Katie across first. She decided it would be better for
Cindy to go first, so she backed up and here came Cindy. She waited awhile,
weighed her options and decided against crossing as well. Here comes the
problem in the story. As Cindy was backing away from the rushing water both
feet slipped out from under her and in to the water she went. Her head was
immediately pulled under and away she went. I was standing there and tried to
grab her as she went in, but unsuccessfully only grabbed a bit of her shirt
which was immediately pulled from my grip. So I did what any good brother would
do and jumped in headfirst after her without really thinking about how smart
that would be. Cindy grabbed for any rocks she could get hold of, and I grabbed
for her, and eventually she got a rock, and I got her, and we were safe in a
small pool only about 15 feet away from where she fell in, and really only 20
seconds or so had passed. With the exception of a few bruises on our knees, we
were both only a bit cold and shaken, but not seriously hurt at all. Praise the
Lord.
So now you are asking yourself why is he writing this blog,
is he really that prideful and wants to toot his own horn that much? I can
assure you the answer to that is no. I learned a lot of things about myself,
the Lord, and what it means to love in that 20 seconds. Seeing the absolute
terror on Cindy’s face as her head went under the water is something that I
never care to see again. It made it so easy to not think for even half a second
about myself, all I cared about at that moment was getting her. Because I care
about her. Because she is my sister and I love her. Those of you that know me,
know that I don’t use the “L” word much. I tell my family I love them, and I
love a good California burrito,
but beyond that I am not much of an “I love you” kind of guy. So Cindy and I
got out of the water and the adrenaline started to wear off, and suddenly I had
a strong urge to cry. I mean really cry. Like shoulders bouncing, can’t breathe
sobs rolling out uncontrollably. Again for those of you who know me I am not
much of a crier either. It is well known in my family that “the Clayton men cry
over the yellow pages,” but I don’t think that starts happening until at least
40, so while I am expecting it to happen one day, I don’t think I am quite
there yet.
So why did I have this urge to cry, and why did I jump in
that river without thinking twice? Well after a few days of thinking and
processing it I have realized that I am beginning to love a lot more than I ever
have. Because I am learning so much about the Lord’s love for me, I am gaining
to ability to love others without fear. I am slowly beginning to feel the urge
to tell my teammates that I do love them. Because I do. Because God is giving
me that ability through showering His love on me. Once we let God start really
loving on us, and showing us His love, even those of us with the hardest
hearts, who never cry, and never tell people we love them, start feeling strong
urges to cry, and tell people we love them, because we realize that we really
do love those people around us. They really do mean that much to us. But before
I can love others, and care about them so much that the thought of losing them
in a river causes me to jump in after them in my Sunday clothes, without taking
half a second to think about my own safety, and then want to cry when they are
safe, and actually tell them that I love them, I have to first really receive
the love of my Heavenly Father.
So my encouragement to anyone reading this is receive. Jesus
wants to love you. Our Daddy in heaven wants to show us that He would/will/and
has done so much more for us than jump in a stupid Kenyan river. He gave his
Son to die on a cross. For you.
love. obedience.
