so last night as i lay awake listening to rain (and Dan’s snoring) i couldn’t seem to shut off my brain. it was one of those nights where i didn’t get to sleep until 4:45, and the alarm going off at 6:45 came way to early, and i had a lot of time to think about a lot of things. and of course i though many a time that i should just get up and write this down, but then i decided that i would lay in bed and try (unsuccessfully) to get to sleep, and so now i am reaching deep into my short-term memory to conjure up and recreate some of the things i pondered in chronological order…
1:30am-2:40am: one thing the Lord was revealing to me through my tossing and turning is that fasting is a spiritual discipline just like reading my Bible, praying, worshiping, and gathering with fellow believers. the difference is that i don’t fast. i mean i have fasted maybe twice in my entire life. you see i am really good at making excuses against fasting. ie: “i am a growing boy, can’t sacrifice those calories,” “i eat 9 meals a day, i might die if i skip them,” “i don’t have anything really huge going on in my life that needs fasting, you only do that during a crisis.” etc. etc. so as i thought about this i realized that maybe i should quit making excuses, and be obedient when i feel that little check in my spirit, and feel the Lord asking me to fast, instead of figuring out reasons why i don’t really need to fast.
2:40am-2:45am: up drinking water and taking a potty break.
2:45am-3:45am: next up on the most of the night brain-churning was creativity. in the first few months of the race i began asking the Lord to give me some new creative outlets. you see i consider myself a fairly creative person inside my head, but getting those ideas out in a tangible way turns up pretty badly at times. when it comes to art, i have the gift of making even stick figures unintelligible (thanks mom, haha). i love music, but have never really worked hard enough at it to become better than mediocre in a few different areas. i love taking pictures, but leave my camera in my bag way more often than i take it out. hopefully you are starting to get the picture… so i asked the Lord for more outlets, and He of course answered. since then i have written about 6 songs, designed a few t-shirts, and even put a couple sketches in the old journal… nothing that will make me millions in the american pop culture scene, but encouraging to me none the less.
3:45am-3:50am: another drink of water.
3:50am-4:40am: my conclusions. in lieu of these things, i am going to be taking the next five days and attempting to fast. i know in the Bible it tells us to comb our hair, and wash our face so no one knows that we are fasting, and so i assure you i am not telling you this to get any sort of praise or recognition, but more to finish the thought process, and explain the hopeful results. as i spend time fasting, i am also planning on recording the songs that the Lord has allowed me to write, and consequently posting them here. i will blog once a day for the five days of fasting, posting either one song or one t-shirt design (rough cuts of both of course) and share anything that the Lord is teaching me that day.
4:41am: sleep at last…
so that is my plan. i hope something that i am learning will encourage anyone reading. i hope you ask the Lord to give you creative outlets. and i hope most of all that you are obedient to His call on your life, no matter what it is. i’ll be back tonight with the first edition…
love. obedience.
