The fruit of our prayer tastes so sweet! I am beyond amazed by where I am at and the people around me. I love them so much! Jesus has broken my heart for my team and every time there is breakthrough, He lets me feel a little taste of how proud He is for them. I share in that pride! My whole existence, I have struggled with caring about my own wants entirely too much. In the past year, a prayer that constantly leaves my lips is, "Lord make me selfless". I am not there yet, but I am closer than I was when I started this thing. Every day is a staging ground to take another step closer. I love how Jesus will answer our prayers by giving us a situation that strengthens our resolve in a certain area. I know you know what I mean. Ever ask for patience and instead of Him depositing a reservoir of patience, He gives you an opportunity to be patient? Well that’s what He did for my selflessness. He has made me a leader. Which I am learning means that you are called to serve more than anything. If I don’t put my team above myself, whatever we are trying to achieve will be a struggle, if not impossible. He is highlighting them so much that sometimes if I try to focus on anything but praying for them, I can’t concentrate. It’s pretty crazy! My Race is so much different than I foresaw. My heart cries out for the lost and He is using me to start a fire in others that are called to the lost.
We are coming to a transition in our journey. The last three months have been an awe inspiring look into the heart of Latin America! I have been battered and broken. I have laughed and cried so very much. He has shown us the heart of a people that is so desperately hungry for Jesus! This new generation is breaking the chains that previous generations have placed on them. January first, we leave our last Latin American contacts and essentially head to Asia. We came “without expectations” and without an understanding of how deep we would delve into this culture and into ourselves. We leave changed, inspired, and with a bigger family than we started with.
He is showing me how to lead. At first, I found myself bossing people around and trying to make decision for everyone. Fail. I am learning to lead by example and give others the option to follow. When I do this, an atmosphere of trust and empowerment is created. Sometimes the outcome isn’t what I would like, but He is not threatened by it so why should I be. I wrote this the other day on our way to a special needs orphanage, “It’s a constant struggle, between a defense mechanism built up throughout my life, of shutting out the pain and suffering around me; and the new want and prayer, to let the poverty and sorrow pierce my heart into action.” The latter is winning! This is the next step. Hunger is driving me deeper into the heart of the Father. There is an open invitation to come along for the ride. I pray that they do!
