Let's talk about what's on my mind. At the moment, nothing. I really want to write this blog but I really have no idea what it should be about so I'll just type a bit longer and see what comes out. I pray that it blesses you. We have been talking among our team lately a lot about inadequacy. So often we see what God wants to do in our lives and through us and think, "How am I going to live up to this task?" We begin to second guess the gifts that were placed in our lives. We look at those characteristics that make us, well…us, and think that God made a mistake or that it is just some kind of fluke. I have had thoughts about that in regard to my leadership of this team I am on. I was recently made aware of a fear that has been sneaking up on me. I have been afraid of tearing the team apart. I know, it seems insignificant and even kind of rediculous or maybe concieted to think that I could be the driving force that draws a team down the deep end. The long and short of it is, God has been keeping me silent in many ways. The team has had to work things out together and I think God wanted me to let it happen without trying to fix it myself. I have been placed into a position where I am not the only one who could be relied on. The rest of the team has had to learn this with each other and when that begins to happen, Satan loves to jump in and make you feel worthless. I will tell you what though. God has victory over this man. When this fear began to build in me, I began to desperately take it to God and He always seems to bring the greatness out of you. God changes our feelings of inadequacy into knowledge of giftedness and that is where he will strengthen you. I am losing my fear of messing up the growth of the team and replacing it with joy in knowing that God is pushing this team to new heights. It is a neverending road that will have peaks and valleys but Christ overcomes the deepest fears. It is our last month in Africa…We have a long way to go!
The Man With Unclean Lips,
Brandon Barnum
