The world race isn’t always glamorous. It’s not all waterfalls, beaches, and beautiful sunsets. I bet y’all look at my instagram and see various pictures that I post and think, “Wow, this girl is on vacation!”
I’m sure it looks like that more times than not, because why would I post a picture of me laying in bed crying because my chest is covered in heat rash and I’m sweating and everything hurts and stings? I’m not going to post about the negative things, but the beautiful things! I’m also not going to post pictures of the slums that I’ve visited, because Africa is more than it’s poor villages.
So here’s some of the ugly things I don’t post and the proof that I’m not necessarily on vacation…
I’ve woke up several times to cockroaches in my hair and on my body. I’d wake up screaming and crying because I don’t do any type of bug.
I climbed out of the shower and almost stepped on a scorpion. I again screamed and cried.
In South Africa it was on average 50 degrees outside, and more times than not we only had cold water to shower with.
October is the hottest month of the year in Zambia. We spent October in Zambia with very little to no electricity. I slept on average 4 hours a night because I was so miserably hot.
In my current living situation in Thailand, I have no A/C in my room. My roommate and I sleep with the windows open so we don’t suffocate, which then means we have bugs. I wake up every night from ants crawling on me and biting me. They even climb through the drains and raid our bathroom. Half the time our once-white toilet becomes black and moving due to the excessive amount of ants in our bathroom. I have no doubt in my mind that they’ve made a home in my toothbrush and I’ve brushed my teeth with an ant at some point.
There’s no compatibility test coming on the race. You could be on a team with anyone, and it’s not always pretty. Small rooms, bad habits, and messy people. That’s all I need to say. It’s hard living in community.
I dropped my phone in a squatty potty. If you don’t know what that is, just google it.
I ate cheese twice in one day for the first time in 2 months and crapped my pants twice within an hour…
Being a big girl in Asia is hard. Harder than being bullied in high school for my size. Harder than being labeled as “plus size” in America. They’re ruthless over here to fat girls. I’ve been called a wide load a few times and have lost my cool a few too many times.
My shoes I’ve been wearing the last 8 months have started rubbing blisters on my feet, but I don’t really have other shoes to wear besides them. So excuse me while I waddle around.
Don’t mind the sweat stains on my pits either…or under my butt…or on my back…or even on my chest. Oh yeah, and don’t mind me wincing because I’m now sweating all over my heat rash…
I’m not saying any of this to complain.
A T A L L.
I knew what I was signing up for. I prayed for this. I prayed to face trials and be stretched. And experienced trials and being stretched I have!
I’m saying this so you realize I’m not always “living it up” over here. I’m not always having a great time. Actually more times than not, I’m crying about something.
Conflict. Pain. Team time after a long day. Holding an abandoned baby. Eating rice for one more meal.
It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Somethings however, are so amazing I can’t not talk about them.
Like welcoming a baby into the world. Like providing lunch to a children’s home that lacks the funds to feed the kids 3 meals a day. Like giving my clothes to an orphanage because I don’t actually need them. Like praying with a crippled man and him smiling at the mention of Jesus’s name and shouting AMEN!
Life on the race is very similar to life at home.
I’m just in another country.
I’m just living life.
I’m just surviving, although some days barely.
Other days I’m thriving.
I face a reality check every single day of how blessed and privileged I am. I cry often because of the things I’ve seen.
I will never be able to erase the girls’s faces from the red light district out of my mind. I’ll never forget the baby I saw with flies crawling all over him, his body covered in feces. I hope I never forget them. I hope I remember them for the rest of my life, and I hope I can one day come
back and make a difference.
Thank you for reading my blog! I promise I’m not complaining, I truly am blessed to be here and experience the things that other people live with for their whole lives. This is a humbling experience and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I love y’all, and don’t worry-I’ll still post my fun pictures 🙂
Love,
Brandi
a little boy that captured my heart. abandoned, scared of people, and so shy. I took him to the water and he opened up and laughed so much
