I remember the first time someone told me I wasn’t enough. At 7 years old, I had a group of girls at church tell me I couldn’t sit with them because I wasn’t skinny enough. That memory is still etched in my brain, and to this day I still remember their names. At 7 years old I felt rejection for the first time; I felt hurt, pain, and bitterness.
I spoke lies similar to that over myself for years. All throughout my teens I bombarded myself with the words of fat, ugly, stupid, useless, waste of space, etc. For so long I felt resentment towards both myself and the people around me. For so long I felt like I lived in a constant state of rejection. I wasn’t good enough, and I never would be. I was on this constant merry go round of misery and grief.
I’m gonna fill y’all in on a little secret though – where you water, it grows. I planted lies and watered it for so long that the only thing that could grow was anger, resentment, and rejection. It’s taken me years to rip out those weeds and start fresh, but it’s so refreshing to see that hard work pay off and see life blooming where there used to be only death.
In a workshop at training camp, they asked each of us to draw a picture of how we view God. Immediately I saw myself in a garden – I was holding an umbrella over myself and was protecting myself and everything around me from the rain. I felt like God was telling me to let down my umbrella, my own protection I was fighting so hard to keep, and allow Him to water me. I saw His rain of mercy and grace pouring over me, and beautiful flowers sprouting up all around me.
You see, nothing can grow if it’s starved and not properly cared for.
I’d been watering my insecurities for years, and it was time to stop that. It was time to allow God free reign over my life (my actions, emotions – all of it!) I decided that it was physically time for me to jump into God’s Grace, and say adios to all the problems I’d been holding onto for so long.
I made the decision to publicly declare my choice, my trust, and my faith by getting baptized at TC. I took the next step in my relationship with Christ, and I immediately saw little blooms all around me.
I am so thankful for the realization that I didn’t have to live a life of pain anymore. I didn’t have to feel rejected anymore, because the One who truly loves me has redeemed me. Redeemed literally means “to gain or regain possession of something.” I have gained this whole new sense of worth that only God can provide, and I am beyond thankful for His promises to me.
So next time you’re feeling a little “dried up,” give God the room to water you and supply growth. He wants to be the ultimate landscaper of your life. Ask God to step into your life and radically change it, but don’t be surprised when He acts on that request. You never know, maybe you’ll end up on some crazy 11 month journey around the world to tell everyone the good news of Jesus.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I truly appreciate all the love, support, and encouragement I’ve received along the way.
We’re getting down to the wire now! My squad departs in 30 days!! August 1st we have to be in Atlanta for launch, and we leave a few days after that. It’s so crazy that this thing started over a year ago, and now I’m finally there!
Thanks to all of you, I’m doing so good in meeting my goals financially. However, I still need to raise about another $4,000. It would be amazing if I could be fully funded by the time I leave the states!
If you feel led to help out financially and give, there are a few ways :
- Click the ORANGE donate button towards the top right of the screen. You can do a one time or monthly online donation through that button. It also instructs you how to write out a check if you’d rather do it that way. All donations made online and via check are tax deductible
- I still have my adopt a box fundraiser going. Head over to my social media pages to find that and claim your square.
- You can Venmo me at Brandi-Griffith-5
Shoutout to Kati Simpson for these awesome pictures!! Follow her journey at katisimpson.theworldrace.org!
