We’re having a squad debrief in Siem Reap before we cross the border into Laos, and I’ve been officially living in various hostels for the past month…it hasn’t been easy, to say the least.
This past month I’ve been tempted so many times, and it hasn’t always been easy…one night, a man sat down next to me and started smoking the same cigarettes I used to smoke-then he offered me one. I said no, but sitting there having a conversation with him in the cloud of smoke was hard for me.
That has happened several times, and each time I emerged victorious over the temptations from the enemy.
Now let’s fast forward to present day. We’re at a total party hostel…lots of drinks, cute guys, and I’m sure I could approach any person outside of my squad and ask them for acid and they’d share it with me. Legit, a guy’s opening line in a conversation with me was telling me his favorite psychedelic to do was acid.
There’s weed, pills, and booze everywhere.
I lay in bed right now at 10:30 pm, trying to go to sleep, and Fetty Wap is blaring outside. I can hear the drunk guys cheering when they make a good play in beer pong…it’s slightly humorous honestly.
I’m going to be super honest and open with you right now…ready?
This place is a huge pit of temptation for me. As I’m laying here, I’m picturing the person I used to be down there with the party. I’m probably on my 5th shot of tequila this hour alone, sitting on some guy’s lap, and searching for anything that will make me feel happy.
I used to really struggle with smoking cigarettes, and went to parties frequently. I could get anything and everything I wanted from a party: Unlimited alcohol, cigarettes, attention from guys, and really any number of bad decisions. I thoroughly enjoyed the sweaty mob of high and drunk people dancing.
Temptation is real, but every time I’ve been tempted, God has provided a way out for me. He’s given me a chance to leave the situation and make the right choice, and He does that for you, too! I know it can be so hard at times, but we’re able to resist and pray for help every time.
Recently, while complaining about a person I used to work with and (truthfully) making comments about her appearance after years of substance abuse, my dad really opened my eyes. He said, “Yeah, she does look rough, but I can’t help but see what you could’ve been had you not turned your life around.” I needed that reminder…
Nobody is better than the person that’s struggling right next to them. I’m no better than my old coworker because I stopped my lifestyle sooner than she did, and she’s just as deserving of love and Jesus as I am!
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Thanks for taking this adventure around the world with me!
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Love y’all!
Brandi
