For 6 months of my race I did not receive
love well.
People
would walk up to me and say, “I love you Brandi.”
Most
times I would just smile and move on.
In
my mind I would say, you don’t really love me or you don’t even know what love
is.
The worst was having the men of my squad
say that they love me.
I
have never heard my father tell me that he loves me and because of that I don’t
receive it well from other men.
Do
they really love me?
Here’s the truth: I
don’t receive love well.
You
tell me that you love me, and I’ll tell you that you don’t.
Love
for me means more than a word.
Love is a
verb.
A
verb is an action word.
If
someone loved me, they would show me that they love me.
If
someone loved me, they would not only say it, but do it.
Can
love merely be in words and not in actions?
Is
this truth?
Or
am I limiting myself to my ways of thinking?
We
all know what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, and if you don’t, have you
not been to a wedding in America??
“Love is patient. Love is
kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It
is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight
in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
How
does this fit into love being an action?
If
love is all of these things, is there a need for action?
Is
it not enough to just say the three words?
Can
someone really truly love you without knowing anything about you or where you
come from?
Sure
they can because the love that we know is not from us, but from the Father.
I know that simple words like “I love you” are said so that I
recognize how much people care for me.
I know that these people are fighting for me.
I know that the people around me love God.
I know that they love because He first loved us.
I know that God is love.
So, why is it so hard for me to accept
love from others?
Why?
I
don’t want to let people in.
I
don’t want people to say something without truly meaning it in their hearts.
I’ve
been hurt a lot in my life.
A
lot.
I’m
walking in freedom from those past hurts.
One
step in the right direction is receiving love from others.
I
can’t necessarily say I’ll be responding with those three words when someone
says them to me, but I can promise you that I am working on it.
Truth is…
It
sucks to love people where they are.
It
sucks to love people when they are so far away from Him.
It
sucks to love people when they want nothing to do with God.
It
sucks to love people for who they really are.
It
sucks to accept people as the Father accepts them.
That’s
when I have to lay aside my judgmental views and start looking at others with
my Daddy’s eyes.
To
start loving them with a love that can only come from Him.
To
start loving them right where they are no matter the level of sin.
To
start accepting their love knowing that it must be genuine.
To
start showing others that I love them not only by word, but action as well.
