October 1, 2010. Launch.
By the time I leave, it will have been four years since hearing about the World Race. I have been praying, preparing, waiting for four years to pursue this calling. You’d think I’d be overjoyed to finally have a launch date! Instead, I was … not.
Feelings of insignificance and frustration have flooded my heart & soul over the past month. Insignificance in regards to the Race, my squad and my team and frustration in regards to new, good things entering my life right now that are being “put on hold” to finally pursue this calling.
It’s ridiculous, I know. For several reasons, not the least of which being that I know I am not insignificant and He is good. I am a daughter of the King of Kings! I am confident in Him, me and where we’re headed together. I am confident that these “good” things that are developing are directed by Father and, therefore, will be what they want Him to be – which is all I truly want anyway (even if I don’t always think I do at the time ;p). So, yeah…it’s ridiculous. …not to mention selfish.
But, it’s real nonetheless.
Satan’s attacks on us can be as large as death, depression and divorce that tear our world apart or as small as the thoughts, fears or unmet expectations the flood our hearts and cause us to question ourselves, Him and who we are to Him. But, the truth is that they are all lies. And we do not have to accept them!
My excitement for the Race has never ceased to exist. It’s just been covered up by the crap that the dirty little rat of an enemy has tried to pile on it. He’s succeeded because I’ve allowed him to. But, in the last few days he has begun to lose this battle as I have begun to fight with the promises and knowledge I have in my Savior! And, in the coming ones, I expect to, with the continued strength and courage of Father, defeat him altogether on it!!
