Matthew 14:22-33
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. 25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Throughout life, I’ve found myself hiding inside the boat.
Scared, skeptical, & incapable of grasping the concept of water-walking.
There I was at the age of 17, sitting on the side of a hill covered in morning dew. I starred off into the distance at a group of brightly colored trees blowing left and right. A small stream flowed beneath, giving the morning a light, serene sound. It reminded me of the feeling a man gets as the sweet smell of coffee and hot breakfast awaken him from a deep slumber. He sits up quickly, takes another whiff, and springs out of bed. Excitement arises enough to pull him out from beneath the warm covers earlier than normal.
A turning point within another ordinary day.
At this point in my life, I considered myself an agnostic atheist. Much of the time I spent within my head was spent attempting to conjure up a new defense against the existence of God. Not only did I have a disbelief, but there was a hatred that grew deeper and deeper as I got older. I was raised in a home where I was allowed to think, believe, and act in a genuine manner, and although I grew up in the church, it was only due to my mothers desire to pursue the unknown that I attended. I can vividly remember causing a ruckus in her seminary classes as the blue gummies faced off in an epic duel with the red gummies. That was the last seminary class I sat in on.
No one else in my family really had much faith in this God character. Especially myself. For some of the angriest people I had come in contact with resided in the church, while some of the sweetest people I had met stayed as far away as possible. The way in which the body of Christ represents the gospel is not only important, but it may be all the outside world is willing to see of this Jesus figure. Therefore, the very heart and soul of Jesus rests on those who know him. He has entrusted us with the most imperative news, and gift, this world has to offer. Our every movement just may hold the weight of eternity.
I turned quickly to sports, women, and friends to define me. My identity began to form from 4-6 pm everyday whether that be in the gym, or on the field. I found myself up and down internally based on my performance, based on the way females felt about me, and based on my current standing with friends. Affirmation was sought out for the soul purpose of defining who I was.
But you see, at least I could wrap this small mind around it. I could grasp, and connect the gratification to the action. Although the feelings lasted only periodically, I understood how to feel them.
So there I sat on the side of this hill. As I continued to daze off into the distance at the blowing trees, a fundamental question popped up, “How in the world do these ‘trees’ with roots, soak up water from beneath the surface of earth, creating a path for water to travel to its ‘leaves’ in order to create food when mixed with the intake of our toxic breathe. All the while, giving off Oxygen which humanity is incapable of living without.”
“Understood” in the mind a 17 year old student who has heard the scientific explanation over and over again.
INCREDIBLE to any mind curious to the why, how, and what questions this world has to offer. The comprehension alone offers more than what meets the eye or ear.
Inexplicable. Intertwined.
At that moment, all of my previous ‘Saul-like’ persecution, rebuttals, and questions flew out the window. At that moment, I stopped fighting a world which no man can grasp intellectually, with human intellect.
A perfect creation, within all proven scientific laws, would call for some sort of creator. & at that moment I did what I thought I would never do again. I stepped out of my boat.
“Is that you?” I quickly prayed to whatever may be there. As I raised the question, an inexplicable feeling came upon me. An intuitive knowing came alive. Something far beyond my understanding shook me, comforted me like I had never experienced, and lightly whispered “yes”.
Still shook, I quickly, like a man who had lost his keys at a very ironic time, laughed at myself. That had to have been me. There’s no way assurance came in that sense. But for some odd reason I again posed a question, “Was that real? & have I been fighting against the very power that sprouts my soul?”
I stopped, still dazing into the distance. The serene sound created by the slow-flowing stream remained as I drowned everything else out. I began to wrestle with a feeling, a knowing, and a slight understanding of something I couldn’t grasp, genuinely for the first time. Little did I know that this was the beginning of a road full of amazement, and a relationship worth everything.
Out of the boat I stepped for the first time. Slowly, I placed one foot in front of the other. Closer and closer I approached my new found friend. Stepped out into something I believed to be impossible, only to find that an inexplicable joy, undeniable peace, and unconditional love awaits atop the waters.
You see, the boat is a boat of fear. Fear of humiliation, fear of being different, fear of losing comfort. For me, I was afraid of that which I could not understand. The boat represents the power that kept me captive. I watched as storms came, lightning stuck, thunder roared, and waves crashed into me. I stayed within my safe little boat of comprehension and comfort. Little did I allow myself to hear that call onto the water. And when I heard it, I too thought it to be only a voice. Only a ghost, Only myself.
That is until I stepped out and experienced something I can only wish to express to each of you in words.
Jesus.
So, you can sit back. Maybe grab the railing of whatever boat your in, and hold on. Storms are brewing, and I’ll warn you it may be safer and easier to sit back in the boat as did the the other disciples. Peter sank. Don’t forget that. He took his eyes off of Jesus and steered his focus towards the storms that passed, and immediately he sank.
But may I also warn you, Peter experienced something in that moment that none of the other disciples were capable of experiencing inside the boat. Peter wasn’t sure what would happen, and logic told him it’s impossible. But he still stepped, and as he stood atop the water with the capability of taking another step closer, Peter grew a faith in something he couldn’t wrap his mind around. Something he couldn’t explain. And you can’t take away the experience, the joy, and the genuineness of his special day with Jesus.
Again, let’s not forget Peter sinking, for that is also something the other disciples didn’t experience. Don’t get it wrong, if you find the courage to step out in wonder, in faith, in the great unknown.. you too will sink. As have I. You’ll take your eyes off Jesus and look back at the storm. The other disciples didn’t have to experience sinking in this sense. But neither did the other disciples get to experience the exhilaration felt from grabbing the outreached hand of Christ, and recognizing He is more than adequate enough to save.
I know, Sounds crazy.
IT IS.
