Have you ever felt unworthy to sit at the table with Christ?
Me too.
For we are imperfect beings created to live life in relationship with a perfect being.
We mess up. We blow up on people, we run our mouths, we dive head first into immoral acts. We focus our eyes, hearts, and minds on tangible feelings or materials that do not beckon us onward towards that which fulfills our souls desire. We trip, stumble, and fall all throughout our lives; & whether you recognize your shortcomings or not, they’re alive and well.
Humanity is ignorant, and incapable of shedding all that makes us so.
C.S. Lewis put it like this:
“And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.”
Temporary satisfaction reigns because tangibility reigns. We lean on our own ability to comprehend because it is much easier to walk out a life in which our minds can wrap itself around; In which we can connect gratification to action. Tangibility reigns even in a world in which our eyes, and ears can’t see and hear most of what is around us.
(We can only see partially between UV and Infrared light. We can only hear between 20 and 20,000 Hertz.)
Our ignorance, inability to grasp our surroundings, and constant pursuit of destructive temporary satisfaction gives ‘ole Screwtape’ a perfect opportunity to remind us of our inadequacies.
But Grace…
Growing up, I found myself constantly searching for an invitation. As most of us do, all I ever wanted was to be invited; Invited to see and invited to be.
Basketball and football was life for me as a youngster. Without coming off arrogant, I believed myself to be pretty good at each. During football season I ate, slept, spoke, and lived football. When basketball was in season I ate, slept, spoke, and lived basketball. I could grasp the gratification that came from performing well. I loved the praise. I invested my identity. You see, I had a dream. A dream to be invited to play ball at the next level. A dream to excel, and be glorified in the one aspect of my life that I felt adequate enough to succeed. I worked, and worked, and worked.
But the truth is…
That invitation never came.
In high school there was one female who always stuck out to me. She was incredibly kind-hearted, gorgeous, & genuine towards me, even in my rebel state. To my surprise, somehow, this schmuck finally got a date that turned into a long relationship. I, without recognizing it, finally felt I was adequate enough. I could grasp the gratification that came from growing along someone I genuinely cared for. I invested my identity. You see, I had a dream. A dream to be invited deeper into her life. A dream to walk safely through life with her a little longer. I tried, and tried, and tried.
But the truth is…
That invitation never came.
Before meeting Christ, I was the guy that attempted to create the ‘I-don’t-care-what-anyone-thinks façade’. In actuality, I was more a member of the ‘All-I-care-about-is-what-people-think’ club. I found myself acting purely to put a smile on a couple faces. If people thought I was funny, I’d probably be accepted. I used cruel words and downgraded many people; For some reason I believed that put me on a pedestal. I would dress, speak, and act in ways that I felt accepted. & I think a lot of us can relate. We invest our identity in our social surroundings; whatever we feel we are accepted for. We all at some point want to be invited to joy through the affirmation of others. And you can try, and try, and try.
But the truth is…
That invitation won’t come.
I remember it as if it were just the other day, a lifelong friend of mine & I were seniors in high school. As we sat watching a movie about a kid throwing an enormous party, an incredible idea came to his mind, ‘I can throw a party like this’. I laughed it off of course, until two weeks later he let me know he invited most of the city. Lexington has double digit high schools in it, it’s not like the rest of Kentucky. And this friend of mine knew more people within Lexington than anyone else at our age. Surely, I thought we wouldn’t have a block party at the age of 18, but within 30-45 minutes of people arriving, the cops had to clear out about 3 blocks. It was insane. He wasn’t kidding, he invited everyone. The funny thing about it is almost everyone who was invited, came.
I do think there is a reason for that. We all want to be invited; We all want to feel included.
In Luke 22, the text begins by telling us of Judas’ plan to betray Jesus. What follows this is no coincidence; Jesus invites all of his disciples, including Judas, to break bread with them one last time. The Last Supper. During dinner, Jesus reveals to his disciples that he is aware of one of their plans to betray him.
But you have to catch this! Even though one of Jesus’ closest friends decides to betray him, eventually resulting in his death, He still has a spot for Judas at his table. He still pulls up a seat.
So when we find ourselves selling Jesus out for material, affirmation, money, people, or fame. When we find ourselves filling ourselves with other idols, when we turn our back on God; Don’t forget it. All you have to do is show up. You’re constantly, & unconditionally invited into the depths of joy & love that await.
If I were Jesus, I doubt I would ever speak another word to Judas. I especially wouldn’t invite him to spend some of my last minutes on earth with me. But that’s why I am not Jesus. The love of God is equal to you, me, and Judas. It is inexplicable. Incomprehensible. Empowering beyond measure. It has no ending. There are no conditions.
It is no coincidence that Judas was invited to the Last Supper.
Neither is it a coincidence that you, too, have a seat at the same table.
