Hello, all. This is Marin. Right now Brady and I are In Atlanta. The last few days we’ve been receiving training on everything from safety to financial stewardship to interacting with our hosts. On Tuesday, we will fly to Cambodia to begin our first ministry. Our next blog will have details about what we’ll be doing there. After months of planning and preparation, I’m so glad the moment is almost here. This week, everyone is asking me how I feel about going; my response has been “content”. I’m ready to go.
A few weeks ago, though, a cloud of brokenness was hovering over me. Aside from saying goodbyes, nothing traumatic happened- I feel like have just been anticipating what I’ll see this year. We’ve been told to prepare for pain and brokenness. We’ll likely be working with women who have been trafficked, orphans, and people whom the rest of society has rejected.
I know what brokenness feels like in myself. I know the real and debilitating pain my body can feel from nothing but my own thoughts. My past experiences are one thing, but joining others in their journeys through physical and mental pain is another. I keep asking myself, “How will I react to others as they deal with pain and brokenness?” and “How can I love well?”
As I’ve been mentally preparing for my reaction to others’ brokenness, I thought about three things I already know about being broken.
1.Brokenness demands repair. In his book, The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis writes, “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to.” I think that brokenness can push us one of two ways as we seek to repair it. It can push us into further isolation from other others and God as we escape into ourselves. Or, it can push us toward greater intimacy with with others and God as we reach out for help. I believe that repairing brokenness demands a choice, and we have the opportunity to choose which way it will take us.
2. Brokenness can give us a true picture of who we are. It has this uncanny ability to cut through all the fluff, fine things, and lies we tell ourselves and others. It splits us open to the core, revealing everything (in an often uncomfortable way.) It gives us a chance to move things long covered up out into the light. It is an opportunity to be “real” for once and to decide what changes need to be made going forward.
3. We weren’t designed to live broken lives. Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” God made us to live full lives. He designed us to come out of brokenness. Sometimes brokenness stays around even when we’re working to eradicate it. Sometimes we stay broken for a long time. I’m not sure there is an answer to why it takes some people longer than others to come out of brokenness, but I am sure it’s not our natural or permanent condition to be broken.
So after much thought and prayer, I think I’ve decided how I’ll answer that question- “How will I react to others’ brokenness and pain?” I think I have a plan. I hope that maybe this plan might be helpful to others too.
1. I’ll listen to their story. I’ll acknowledge the brokenness and grieve the pain with them.
2. I’ll decide that the brokenness is NOT that person, it’s what they’re experiencing temporarily.
3. I’ll encourage them to turn outward instead of inward.
4. I’ll ask them for their vision of who they are and who they want to be.
5. I’ll tell them about their value and worth in my eyes and in the eyes of God.
6. I’ll let them know that healing and change can happen.
7. I’ll offer to walk alongside them in their journey for as long as I am able. I’ll offer my listening ear, my support, and my prayers.
8. I’ll remember that restoration might involve me but is not dependent on me. This is something that they have to work through. I can be a friend, but ultimately it’s up to them and God to do the inner work of healing.
Running from brokenness and pain is easy. Lying about our brokenness is easy. Ignoring others’ brokenness is easy. Exposing it is hard. Talking about it is hard. Restoration is a messy and long process sometimes. But praise God – there is hope in Christ! “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. “ Psalm 34: 18
Please pray for me to have wisdom, tact, and compassion as I encounter people dealing with brokenness. Pray for light to flood the darkness of hurting souls.
