I don’t consider myself a good writer and this whole blog thing is new to me. I have always enjoyed giving speeches or talking in front a class rather than write an essay and I think one of the main reasons behind that is that writing is scary! To me, writing takes a sense of vulnerability. It allows you to just take your thoughts for what they are. Where as giving a speech, one can hide behind body language if the content isn’t truly there. But with writing, the content is the only thing you have. The reason I may not enjoy writing is probably related to the fact that I’ve always been scared/hesitant to be vulnerable myself. Being vulnerable can be defined as “susceptible to physical or emotional harm; in need of special care.” I’ve always wanted to be the “cool guy”, the guy that has it all together and when I thought of “cool” I didn’t think vulnerability. For the longest time I held that vulnerability was almost equal to weakness. In my mind, if you were vulnerable you were dumb, because there was a good chance you were going to be hurt. “Cool guys” didn’t get hurt and the few times I had been vulnerable in my life, I’d been hurt. So often in my life I had stayed closed up to what the Lord had to say. I would know what he called me to do, yet not budge because I didn’t want to surrender that to him, I wanted to be in control. I believe the Lord calls us to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there, right out in the open for him. Just as I have to work on being vulnerable in writing a blog and putting my true thoughts out for everyone to see, I also have to work on being vulnerable with the Lord on my walk with him. Allowing him to take full control of everything, even my doubts and fears. I am not sure exactly what God has planned for my life, but I know to follow him,requires me fully letting my guard down and being completely vulnerable to his will. A lot easier said than done, but I know it’s worth it
