Some days I feel like I could climb the tallest mountain, motivated and excited, like there isn’t anything in the world that can stop me. Then there are days where everything seems like a curse, nothing seems to go right as I am reminded of my failures. In between these days is a rut of complacency that I tread between as I live my daily life, going through the motions. In a world that tends to always focus on faults and the negatives, its easy to feel beaten down. The complacency feeds into loneliness and sometimes it feels like no one is listening..But He is listening. I am loved. Yesterday my roommate got back from spending a week with his family back in his home town. We were catching up with what had happened in each other’s lives over the past week and he asked how my relationship with the Lord had been. I vented my frustration to him and admitted how frustrated/stressed I had been over the past week. I described a sense of loneliness that seemed to always be hovering over my head, that I couldn’t quite escape. After explaining all of this to him, I was expecting him to respond with a verse or some encouraging talk but, all I got was a question. “Have you been making time to talk to him lately?“. The question hit me hard because honestly, I hadn’t. All of the jobs, assignments, and relationships I felt the pressure to keep up with, had taken priority in my life. At the end of the day I could look my long To-Do List I had made earlier and feel completely satisfied if I had a few things marked off the list. God was the friend that I got around to if I had time or really needed Him. I looked back at my roommate, who can also be considered one of my best friends. I didn’t just meet him one day and say, “Yep, you’re my best friend, wanna be roommates?” because that would be absurd. The way we got to be roommates and best friends was: spending time with each other, talking, and going through struggles together. Over time we became best friends, and actually wanted to talk and hang out with each other. This whole conversation hit me deep because of how I see it relating to my relationship with the Lord. How can I expect a relationship with the Lord if I never make the time spend with Him, to talk to Him, to tell Him about my struggles. God wants us and wants to spend time with us, yet I didn’t make time for Him. My loneliness was a direct result for my selfish behavior.The feeling of loneliness turned into one more of guilt. I am so blessed with everything the Lord has done and the people he put in my life. I can’t help but be reminded daily. He is listening. I am Loved.
