Have you ever asked yourself,
“What’s the point?”
“Why am I doing this and is it really going to make a difference?”
I honestly was asking myself these questions during the course of our ministry in Swaziland. Often times it was hard to really see the impact that we were having.
March was Man-istry month, meaning that due to the scarcity of men on the squad, we were given a month on a team together. Our ministry assignment was to serve at what is called a carepoint. These carepoints serve as relief centers for local communities. Some of them offer free HIV testing, provision of free meals, etc. Our particular location offered one free meal of rice and beans for children as they come home from school. For many this is the only meal they receive every couple of days. It was also the location for a playground and a soccer field which was really a large dirt field and wooden beams for goal posts.
So what was our responsibility? For the first portion of the day we might find ourselves slashing grass outside the church we slept in with “slashers”, a thin, long blade used to keep the grass low due to snakes. Others days, we were visiting go-gos – older women, typically grandmothers – at their homesteads where we sat on the floor and dialogued about their life and their challenges. Every afternoon, we would play with children ranging from toddlers to high school age. Each day contained the familiar pushing children in swings, chasing them around the center, or kicking around a deflated soccer ball. It all felt all very routine if I may be painfully honest.
I found myself asking what the lasting impact of our ministry was. Sometimes you just want to know if your making a difference or not. It’s hard to question whether we were doing a good thing or not. Scripture is pretty clear. “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction…” James 1:27. I’ve considered that my labor is acceptable before the Lord, but what change is being had for their future betterment?
It wasn’t until the end of the month that it was explained to us by our host where we fit into the larger vision of ministry in the area. We were the first missionaries to actually stay in the area for a solid month. It wasn’t just having the children and go-gos getting used to us, but the surrounding village as well. Additionally, we were the pioneers of what will hopefully become a consistent presence of Racers every month.
For many of the children, they receive little love due to the financial demand put on relatives. They are usually up and off to work before the children wake up and come home exhausted only to be met with more chores before going to bed to begin again the next day. This is only if they are lucky enough to have relatives that are able to work. Due to HIV related deaths or abandonment because of financial strain, a lot of the children are left without parents and are left in the care of the go-gos.
For the go-gos, they face the daunting task of caring for numerous children in their advanced age. Though a small community where everyone seems to know everyone, some of them experience quite a bit of loneliness. One poor lady comes to mind. Shortly after introductions were made as we sat on logs and cinder blocks, she began to share of her life story. She left little space for her words to be translated. Even after we concluded our visit, she continued speak to us as we made our way down the road from her house. Evidence of how little she gets to share with others.
Our team of men may have not seen a tangible benefit that we brought to the community, but we can all count on the Lord using us for purposes beyond our limited scope of a month. I’m gratefully to be able to understand and appreciate what our role was at this ministry. Although, I had misgivings about our long term impact, I’m having to learn to trust that at the end of it all, it has to be entrusted to the Lord.
