Romania, what can only be described as possibly one of the more challenging months on the Race. The reality of the return trip home begins to close in fast. With all it’s hopes and joys for the future, it also bears many concerns with it as well summed up in the question, “What happens when I get home?” For many, they begin to think “After this month is over, it’s one last month.” Your mind sometimes finds it difficult to settle in the present because it’s fixed on the future. Often the undertones of spiritual warfare that took place that month in the area make for a heavy environment. Plus, the stories of past Racers somewhat unpleasant experiences come to mind. And lest I forget to mention, on our first day our bus was met with inappropriate gestures from a couple of young people, as we arrived into town.
This all didn’t bode well for the overall tone of the month. I was coming into this month hoping that these last months would be some of the best. Everyone wants to finish strong. It’s been said time and time again, “How you finish the Race is how you will continue when you get home”, or something to that effect. Everyone back home is counting on you to one degree or another, nor do you want to look back with regret at a missed opportunity.
I won’t pretend that I pulled myself up by my bootstraps (which I actually have) and attacked the month with all my heart. However, there is hope. For my month did not end how it began. Our team’s main ministry was preparing and hosting field games every weekend in an attempt to reach particular youth that would be fit for further discipleship. This involved lots of youth. Kids are great. I love kids. But in larger numbers, it may be a little overwhelming for me. Some people thrive, I survive. The first couple of weekends were met with hesitation, even shamefully hoping for rain to cancel the games. The truth is though, I enjoyed it. I always walked away having really enjoyed the experience.
Regrettably, my real struggle was not limited to dealing with hordes of kids. No, it’s lasted much longer and is much, much deeper than something so simple. For me, I’ve been waiting on the Lord to do something dynamic in my life for quite sometime. An encounter, if you will. Something that will take me deeper with God. Honestly, I had hoped it would happen on the Race. The World Race is a great opportunity, right?
Well, it hasn’t happened yet. Otherwise, this would be a very different blog. It’s okay, though. I’m learning a lesson that is admittedly difficult, but necessary. My error has been in placing my eyes on the vision more than the giver of the vision. Somewhere along the way, while looking forward to this much desired and needed encounter my eyes began to shift away from the Lord, in a way, to this future moment. It was ever present with me, weighting on my mind, even when I wasn’t aware of it. Reflecting on it, I ponder how many ‘today’s’ had been robbed of it’s present attention.
I still firmly believe it will happen. Whether on the Race or after, regardless of what I may expect it to look like. So what do I do? How is this lesson played out? I choose to release the burden to the Lord and stop attempting to predict His timing. I give more of my attention to the present and what my responsibilities are for the day and you know what each day is starting to look a little bit better.
