Finally, the highly anticipated answers are here! I know what you’re all thinking, “Brad, I’ve never been around the world before. I want to go, but I’m afraid I might have a breakdown if I don’t get a good American hot dog in my system every month.”
Don’t despair!
I thoroughly investigated your concerns. My undercover work should shed some light on the situation. I’m prepared to give you the inside scoop of each culture’s take on the classic hot dog. Be warned, some of these images might be a bit disturbing to fanatics of the world famous ballpark frank.
South Africa
How fitting to complete this final month of the Hot Dog blog on the 4th of July. Even though we were located in South Africa, our team and a another American team from Nebraska joined forces to create a feast worthy of freedom. All of the meat was prepared in a traditional African Braai (kind of like a BBQ), and it was delicious.
I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has supported me through this hot dog eating journey. There were times when we all doubted, like the time I ordered a foot long hot dog in Zimbabwe and received a chicken mayo sandwich. There were times we prayed, like when I had sketchy street meat in Asia which could very well have been actually dog. There were times when we were pleasantly surprised, like the first day I got home and my parents brought me to a new Chicago dog restaurant. But, in all sincerity, I hope this light hearted blog has brought you some laughter these past several months. Thank you for faithfully following my journey!
Namibia
I FOUND IT! Those glorious stars and stripes shine bright here at the Hot Dog Palace in Windhoek, Namibia. The menu is simple, six hot dogs in total (plus a few combo meals). The pleasant aroma was the first sensation to hit me upon entering the these heavenly doors. After scanning the menu, I finally settled on the “Double Long Island Dog with Chips”.
This delicious dog contains two foot long meat logs. Unfortunately, the bun was made for a single 6 inch hot dog. No matter though, the friendly cashier just cut it in half and set it on top of the smothered mess. I’m not sure what the smothering contained. Looking back at the picture is appears that there was corn, beans, green beans, tomato, and onions. Of course, I also had them add ketchup, mustard, and a few jalapeños.
The hot dog was delicious, but the surprising part of the meal was the chips (fries). These are hands down the most delicious fries I have ever had in my entire life! It kind of tasted like they were infused with seasoned salt and vinegar. Soooo good.
Swaziland
The Boerewors Roll
I can’t tell you how excited I was to see this delicacy on display. You mean to tell me that my first African hot dog is made with wild boar? Can it get any better than that?!??! I mean, it’s in the name!
I gobbled this baby down just in time to be wholly disappointed. Instead of a delicious boar, I received an interesting cultural lesson. The word ‘boerewors’ has nothing to do with wild pig. It is derived from the germanic words ‘boer’ meaning ‘farmer’ and ‘wors’ meaning ‘sausage’. Southern africa is heavily influenced by Dutch and German culture. The language ‘Afrikaans’ is actually a derivative of Dutch. So, the farmer’s sausage is actually a reflection of European influence in Africa.
Nevertheless, this has been the best hot dog that I’ve eaten on the Race to date. It was delicious and a little on the spicy side. I was given the option of picking between ten different sauces to add to the roll. Some of the options were: ketchup, mustard, thousand island dressing, and several varieties of hot sauce. I went with mustard and a local habanero hot sauce. Well done Swaziland.
Fun fact: The world record for the longest boerewors roll is 1557.15m. That’s nearly a tenth of a mile long! It was donated to many childrens’ shelters after the offical measurement was taken.
Cambodia
The Funky Pizza Dog
Description: Topped with salami, pizza sauce, mozzarella & oregano
This concoction had potential, but they failed on the meat quality. After watching the neighbors kill and cook their dog, I choose not to ask too many questions. Lucky for me, it came with a side of $0.50 piss poor beer to wash it down.
In other news, next time you stop by the Cambodian gas station, don’t forget to pick up your hot dog with a side of noodles! It is a match made in heaven (or perhaps only Cambodia).
Laos
There aren’t very many redeeming culinary qualities of this lousy country. Besides beer and rice, almost everything is imported. Even after living in the capital city of Vientiane for an entire month, there was not a single hot dog to be found. The closest I saw was a street cart advertising a “Chicago Dog”, but it was filthy lie. They never had hot dogs.
I think it’s part of grand government conspiracy to keep their citizens firmly under their communist control. I beg you, all faithful supporters of freedom, go to your nearest hot dog stand and consume a massive foot long dog with a side of freedom fries as a symbol of protest for your oppressed brothers in Laos. When you’re finished, sing the national anthem and celebrate your liberty.
‘Merica!
Thailand
Hot Dog in a Bag
When I think Thailand, I think street food. At any given street market you’ll find a variety of vendors selling meat. Most of the time that meat comes on a stick. What is the meat made of? No one knows. However, all is good because you quickly come to recognize the difference between “sketch” and “sketch sketch” meat. This hot dog is of the “sketch” meat variety. Instead of being offered to you in the proper form, ie. a bun, street vendors serve you your hot dog in a bag. The bag also has some unknown variety of sweet sauce. Nice try Thailand.
Sausage Stuffed Crust Pizza
When this pizza showed up at my table I was 99% certain that I had finally found and acceptable foreign hot dog. I mean, who wouldn’t want a sausage and cheese stuffed crust pepperoni pizza. Survey says… FAIL. The pizza was delicious, but the sausage was well below subpar. Alas, I must continue my journey next month.
Malaysia
Pop quiz – What does Islam have to do with hot dogs?
[Drum Roll]
No pork, of any kind. That’s right, in a country whose national religion is Islam you can count on getting a good beefy frank wherever you go.
Hot Dog Pizza
My friends Ijah and Aini were the first to introduce me to the Malaysian Pizza. Hot dog is a key ingredient and the perfect substitute for sausage. This pizza dons another unique flavor by substituting chili sauce for tomato paste. Thank you ladies for serving up this wonderful meal!!
Hot Dog Sushi
Winner for the most unique dog this month goes to the Sakae Sushi restaurant in Penang. Fear not, that is not an octopus our your rice roll. No sir, that is a hot dog in guise. Don’t be fooled by his mayonnaise eyes or slender tentacles, he’s 100% beef. Served on rice, seaweed, and soy sauce you can’t beat a pair of these rolls for $0.55.
Street Food Hot Dog
This creation was purchased at our Sunday morning street market. It kind of resembles a deep fried corn dog. The vendors take the liberty of cutting your hot dog in half before hiding it away in the fried bread. This delicacy is topped of with chili sauce on top!
Bus Stop Dog
So, your home-team is not playing this week, but you’re craving a hot dog. Where are you going to look to find one? A gas station of course! The closest thing that I’ve food to an American hot dog in Malaysia is at the bus station. It comes in a piece of bread that looks more like a hoggie bun. The dog itself is stuffed with black pepper, cheese, and peppers. To top is all off, the dog is covered in ketchup and mayo.
