What are you hoping is true about God?
Take 30 seconds before reading on and be brutally honest with yourself:
Are you hoping God is real? Are you hoping that God is NOT real? Are you hoping that the God you trust is “the right one”? Are you hoping that every religion is equally valid? Are you hoping that God is good? Are you hoping that God hears your prayers? Are you hoping God will forgive you? Are you hoping that you hear God clearly? Are you hoping that God still speaks? Are you hoping you are following God’s will for your life? Are you hoping God doesn’t actually care about a particular vice in your life? Do you hope God actually has the power to heal your marriage? What are you hoping is true about God?
This is a question I’ve been wrestling with constantly this month.
One of the great blessings of growing up in a church is hearing sound biblical teaching on a weekly basis. The church my family attends puts a lot of emphasis on the simple truths of God. They never complicate things, or try to push a particular nuance of doctrine. They teach Christ crucified and focus their messages on how to honor God’s grace and mercy with your life. It’s fantastic, and the fruit is undeniable.
I feel well versed in the foundational truths about my Heavenly Father. So, I never thought I would be surprised by something I didn’t understand. That was certainly naive. One of the more dramatic revelations I’ve been forced to confront is the nature of evil. In general, Christians don’t have a problem recognizing that Satan is real. They don’t have a problem reading about demons or possession in Jesus’s time, but the moment you suggest that these things may still be happening, people start to get a little unsettled. I suppose I never gave it a second thought growing up. So, you can imagine it came as a bit of a shock when I visited other parts of the world where the devil roams around undisguised. The first visitation of demons in my sleep shook me pretty hard. Then my stomach flipped when a family shared with me that demons manifest themselves physically in their presence, and torment them on a regular basis. I’ve yet to meet someone manifesting a demon in my presence, but I’ve had several friends share with me about their experiences delivering people from demons. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if God asked me to do the same before my time on the World Race is over.
I started wondering what else I took for granted in scripture. As my interest in missions has grown, I’ve been meeting many different people on the mission field. Some of the stories they’ve told me are nothing short of MIRACULOUS. I believe in the miraculous; I’ve seen it in the life of my own family. One of the themes that continues to resurface during my conversations is healing, physical healing. Again, growing up I heard stories about Jesus and his disciples healing people, but I never really gave it any thought. If anything, I was taught to be wary of people claiming that God was still in the business of healing (and for good reason). There is undeniably a whole army of charlatans preying on the helpless, and they will be severely judged. Now I approach the idea of healing with substantial trepidation.
And yet, the stories are so facinating. I felt like I was discovering a whole new part of God that I’ve yet to experience. I started doing my own research. I didn’t realize the extent of the bag of worms I was opening. I’ve read all about all of the different intrepretations people have for healing in scripture. It gets really ugly. People with the same foundational beliefs attack each other back and forth over this issue. Then it gets more complicated the moment you start looking at it from the point of few of the “sign gifts” and other giftings of the Spirit. Enter more fear and trepidation, of both God and man.
Who do I believe? What do I believe?
I hope the stories I hear about God are true. I hope God is still in the business of healing. I hope the Spirit is still gifting people with all of the spiritual gifts, even the sign gifts.
But….. It doesn’t really matter what my hopes are. I believe there is a Truth (the kind with a capital ‘T’). Far be it from me to follow a pattern of teaching simply because it satisfies my hopes.
“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”
2 Timothy 4:3-4
You know what my itching ears want to hear. What do yours want to hear?
I’m skeptical by nature, I’m aware of my own desires, and I’m stuck not knowing what to believe. I truly feel the spirit of religion trying throw me into confusion, and fear, and doubt. I know those feelings are not from God. This is where I’m at right now. When people tell me about healing, or other spiritual giftings, they may be telling me the whole truth, but I’m not interested in your stories. I’m not satisfied by the teaching of my church growing up. I’m not satisfied by the Annex. I’m not satisfied by Adventures in Missions, or the World Race, or Pioneers, or anyone else. I can’t take the he said, she said, theological pile of crap anymore. It’s all confusing me. So, I’m reading scripture for myself, and I’m praying with all my might that God will reveal the truth to me.
As I’ve been doing my own study, I see a legitamate case for healing and the rest of the gifts. Am I completely 100% certain and satisfied? No. Far from it. But when I read scripture, that’s what I understand from it. I don’t know all the details. I don’t know what it means to be an ambassador of Christ’s authority. I don’t know how the Spirit gifts each one of us. I don’t know if you will always be gifted in one particular way, or if you could express multiple gifts. I don’t know if giftings are temporary, or given in special circumstances. I don’t know all of the ways they could be abused. I still fear offending God – I hope I never lose that. But, I also believe that God is absolutely full of grace. I feel at peace moving forward and having faith in something I’ve never considered. Like I said, I’ve been surprised before. I feel at peace because I’m seeking with all of my heart to get the answer from my Father, and not just surround myself with people that will fill my itching ears. I have faith He’ll give me a clear answer. I hope I’ll have the humility to accept it if I discover I’m wrong. That is my heartfelt desire.
Maybe you’re in the same place. Maybe you’ve come to the same conculsion. Maybe you’ve come to a different conclusion. Maybe you’ve never cared to consider it. Wherever you are, I invite you to take a fresh look at the scriptures with me. Don’t go into it with an agenda. Ask God for wisdom. Please pray for me. Please pray that God will reveal more of His character to me. Pray for God to reveal more of His Truth to me. I’ve been actively seeking to surrender myself to His will as I pray for things I’ve never prayed for previously in my life. In my next blog, I’ll share what I’ve been experiencing.
In the meantime, here’s an excellent sermon from Francis Chan that I think you will all really enjoy:
