Thinker or feeler. Certainly, a person can be both. But for most, a rigid line exists between the two. Folks who are primarily driven by their emotions and the yearning to locate the internal and bring it forward – however that looks – are typically feelers. Those who internalize the feeler’s protocol of outward expression and weigh little reliance on dictation from it are thinkers. And in an interesting way, the two make beautiful contraries.
For a span of time, I was a feeler. Mostly during my college years. Adventure, spontaneity and love were prevalent themes during that time in my life. Which by themselves are wonderful paradigms and harmless to either notion. But for me, especially as a post-academia thinker, I can recognize that the decisions I made in college were driven, primarily, by my feelings alone. And quite frankly, I wouldn’t change them for anything. They were fun years. But it was a time in my life when I abandoned the power of my mind to dictate opportunities based almost purely on perceptual sentiment. And that’s a broken system from beginning to end when the mind is rarely involved. So when I graduated from college, I pledged to become a wiser person. Both as a Christ follower and as a secular man.
Here in Albania, my squad is working with an amazing children’s camp. God is already releasing nuggets of “feeler sensation” when I obey him in the simplest ways. And becoming a more aware feeler is one of the biggest lessons Christ has in store for me this year. I’m excited for God to feverishly crack my hard shell, exposing the gooey emotion that rests in my core. Because as much as I tell myself I’m “just not a feeler,” the truth is, I am. So in front of God and everyone, release emotion and feeling all over me Lord… I’m ready.
