days… the smell of smoke is permeating my nose. First, I am sorry
I have not blogged in a while! Things have been crazy, I could write
for days but it seems like I have nothing to write about! That is
the paradox I dwell in presently.
and challenging! We were fortunate enough to live with an amazing
Gypsy Family that loved us every minute we were there. When we first
arrived we were so enamored with the beauty of our new home! The
grass, hills, and flowers were everywhere filling our eyes with what
seemed like a dream! When we first arrived we had a great welcome
and felt like this month was going to be super! We had taken a night
train and were quite exhausted so we all took a nap! When we woke up
there was meat in the house! Lots of MEAT! That does not happen in
Africa, Asia, or Central America. So we were pretty happy! Our
contact, Sandu, informed me that his stomach was a cemetery. I
thought to myself, “I hope mine will be as well.”
Danny (18), Lacie (10), and Bennie (6). These children are great and
I miss them already! The kids were great!
played and played. After a few days I realized these kids must eat
sugar all day long! They DO NOT CALM DOWN EVER. There was no where
I could go to escape them. Our room was upstairs, thank God they
respected that space, but their voices did not stay downstairs! I
felt violated, and like somehow I was being cheated. I needed
personal space and time but could not find it. The kids were
constantly saying, “Go lake”, “Go play”, “Go lake”, “Go
play”. I wanted to go to the lake, but I wanted to go alone.
I asked
myself, “Why did you go on the WR?” I responded, “I chose to
go on this trip and give everything I have away in love for God.”
desires and take the kids to the lake. So I did, then they would not
even get in the water. I was pissed! Now I have to stay on the
steps cause you can’t swim. Again, I have to die to myself. God has
given me a chance to teach this child to swim. Fast forward for a
second, the kids still can’t swim. Rewind!
perspective was way off. I was viewing the kids as a nuisance not as
God’s children. I prayed and asked God to shift my perspective.
From that moment my relationship with those children changed. I went
from agitated all the time to patient and calm. I discovered
God’s heart for those boys! They are great kids that lack
discipline. They were just like me! They had too much energy and
like to push boundaries. I made it clear what my boundaries were and
they stayed in the lines most of the time. I chose to love those
boys as God loves them over disliking actions that are pleas for
attention. Those boys got my attention and my heart! They are so
beautiful and I began to appreciate them as God does.
This is a major theme God has been
teaching me for the past few months. God does not view as we view
nor does He judge as we judge. His ways are higher than ours! If
God could make a mistake it would still be better than our
perfection. God sees everything! He understands why we do
everything on a scale that is hard to understand. There are so many
people I make snap judgments about! More times than not, eh, every
time I judge without knowledge. I make assumptions rather than
asking God for facts. I chose to trust myself and my thoughts over
asking God His.
On the WR we often pray for one
another… ask God to reveal something to us for the person… ask
Him to give us a scripture to encourage… a picture… a word…
just something. I have learned that before I can pray for someone in
this manner I must first ask God to let me see the person as He loves
the person. Once I can see the person as God sees the person I begin
to love them as God loves them. I don’t see them as a flawed terd, I
see them as someone who loves, hurts, sings, cries, dances, reads…
you know human!
