Awakening was LIT YO!!!!!!!
Before I go much farther in this post, I’ll explain what awakening is, and then tell you how it has changed my mindset for these next 9 months.
Awakening is a 2 day spiritual retreat in which 2 or more squads get together for a time of worship, prayer, sessions, rest & being filled up by the spirit to help them continue to be able to pour into people that we are serving. In our awakening here in Honduras it was my squad (P squad-month 2), K squad (Month 4- they launched in August and it’s kinda weird for me to think that I could have been me in month 4 as I almost applied for an august 2018 route, but God had a different plan for me, and I listened to him instead of doing things my own way, plus I found out that if I had gone in August I would have been on I squad instead of P squad also funny to think about as I can’t imagine myself on any other squad other then this crazy squad) & F squad (Month 11- lucky ducks haha).
I fully expected to go into this weekend with the mindset of being on “vacation mode” as I saw this time as a time to rest both physically and mentally as these were the areas that I felt like I was broken down in and in return I could feel like because of this it was starting to affect attitude towards everything like it did after month 1 (I actually purposely avoided my teammates during this time as much as I could to help me refocus as I am going to be with them 24/7 again for the next 3 months til we have team changes after month 5 in Cambodia). I expected to get “filled up” by the spirit, but no in the way that I imagined.
God by the means of the Holy Spirit broke me for the better.
Through my squadmate, Kyndal, he reveled to me that I had only partially surrendered it all to him, namely my pride & my stubbornness, was holding me back from surrendering it all to him. I knew that I needed to surrender it ALL to him if I wanted to grow, and that I also needed to be more willing to open with my teammates, and let them into my mindset since I know that they also want to help grow which included accepting feedback with grace.
Ouch as I felt like I had been hit in the groin with a softball
Another thing that God reveled to me (once again) through the help of others was the fact that he reminded me that he does see me& that I am worthy of him & that I am his daughter. God also reminded me again through members of other squads that I am so loved by my own squad and that I do have wisdom to share with them if I am given the chance. God also sees me as a leader in his kingdom, and that I just gotta trust myself to have the confidence to pursue that especially since that is one of my spiritual gifts (leadership as well as Evangelism, service & adminisatration).
(Ok God so does this mean that you might be leading me towards seminary after I am done with the Race?) So many questions about his path for me for the rest of my life as so far he has shown me both teaching & leadership directions for me.)
Totally random, but I am in awe of the people that hear God’s voice and/or get visions from him as that is something that doesn’t happen to me but I still feel God or the Holy Spirit in other ways & they speak to me in other ways.
Speaking of the evangelism gift, we spent a part of Saturday morning going out into the community, and talked to the locals, and in the process evangelized to them if we felt called too. All of the people that we talked to were already Christians, but we still prayed over them, and one older lady we prayed a prayer for healing over her ear as she had a growth behind her ear, so hopefully God will take away any pain that she may have had associated with that growth, and know that it came from God by the means of us praying for healing. It was interesting how God told me to walk around with my group & we did, and as a result was able to talk and pray for a few people.
The last night of awakening was so incredible was the 3 squads spent over 2 hours just worshiping him, and it was such a beautiful sight to behold as the Holy Spirit was truly moving in that room with us as many people were singing, praying even crying for that’s how moving it was, and I will admit that I even got a little emotional as I could feel the spirit move within me as well especially since earlier in the week I had called upon the Holy Spirit to be baptized in him.
So yeah that my weekend, and boy was it an incredible weekend to boot. The hotel in town that we stayed at was awesome for I finally got to sleep in a real bed on a real soft mattress, and take a nice hot shower for the first time since launch, it was glorious. We were fed pretty good too as the meals we had were good (except for the mashed potatoes we had on thanksgiving as those were straight up nasty in my book as who puts mustard in mashed potatoes, seriously?)
Also, we have another fundraising deadline coming up the 30th of this month, and there are a few of my squadmates who have yet to meet the 13k amount needed to stay out on the field with us! (I am in good shape as I’ve met my 13k goal already!) If you feel so moved to give, please consider giving to one of them as each and every one of them are special, and P squad wouldn’t be P squad without them!. Thank You!
Til next time your fellow sister in Christ,
Bonnie
Team Surrendered
P squad
Psalms 18:2
YOLO
