Every month the leadership of P Squad gives us a theme word of the month that is carefully prayed for by them, and the word for this month that they received was perspective.
So what does this word mean, and how does it relate to me, and my World Race journey?
Perspective: a particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view.
Let’s just say that on the 8 months that I have been on the WR, everything about me has changed in some way or another. One of these ways is my perspective on life, and how I used to view my life before coming on the world race to now, and how I view my future post race.
Perspective shift #1: Work & God
Before the World Race was even a thought in my brain, I was living my “new” life after battling depression & certain harmful thoughts. I had finally gotten my life back on track, and I felt pretty good about everything. I had a job, money, singleness, a social life, freedom, rent free living, a car & limited bills. Life was good, but I still felt empty inside , and I had no idea what that could possibly be what I was missing in my life.
It took a conversation from a good friend from BSF to point me in the direction that I needed to go to feel full inside, and that was the fact that I needed to have more church in my life. Sure I have been going to church on Sundays my whole life & being a Christian was a huge part of who I was but over that time money/greed/power & just a overall sense of wanting more took over my life in the 6 years between landing the job at Target & leaving for the World Race, and so working on Sundays meant money to me. After talking with my friend, I realized that I needed more God, less idols in the making in my life, and so over time I made church/God more of a focus in my life.
To be honest I was a bit upset with God when he told me to go on the World Race because I knew what I would have to give up in order to obey God and what he wanted me to do to serve him. But now I know why he told be to do that back then, and I see the ways in which he worked in my heart in order to help me be able to serve him, and not be worried about leaving it all behind for bigger and better things that he had in store for me.
Perspective Shift #2: Self
This is the number one biggest perspective change that I have had on the race so far as the more in depth I go with myself as far as self reflection & growth the more I realized just how much I have changed as far as my attitude & moral character goes.
Pre Race self: cocky, greedy, selfish, reluctant to do things for others unless I was getting paid or I was forced to do things, introverted, looked for ways to better myself at any cost, and a sense of being invisible to the dangers of life.
Current & post Race Self: more servant hearted, willing to put others before me, generous, amioverted, caring, and prob most importantly the fact that I realized that I do need a stronger community of Christians around me, and I have also realized that I shouldn’t take my life or the lives of those close to me for granted because we aren’t promised a tomorrow.
I realized just how much I have changed as a person, and frankly I am a bit scared about what will happen when I am home as I have learned that I like my new self, and my fear is that after time at home I am worried that I will revert back to my old self. This is one of the reasons why I am convicted about going home even if I have so much to look forward to going home, and God’s plans for me post race.
Perspective shift #3: Intimacy with God
Again this is the other biggest perspective change that I have noticed while being on the race. Before the race, I went to BSF & church on Sunday morning, but outside of that I really didn’t understand the need for or the importance of spending quiet time with God, and in all honesty my Bible was just collecting dust on my desk in my room. Funny story: I didn’t bring my Bible to training camp due to the weight, and I didn’t want to bring any extra weight that I didn’t need due to having to do the fitness hike, and I actually debated about whether or not to bring my physical Bible with me on the Race, but I did ended up bringing it.
Being on the race, I have learned and realized the need for that personal, intimate time with God, and that it really does help me to be able to face the day better after spending some one on one time with him. I will admit that it is hard at times to find that personal time due to factors based on our living quarters each month, and there have been months where I have given up on having quiet times at all that month. I know that this is an area in my walk with God where I need to have more discipline in in my faith journey.
Coming onto to the race I knew that I was going to be changed, but I didn’t know just how much I would be changed, and be changed for the better. In the end of it all and the biggest perspective shift that I have had is that coming on the World Race & living in community with others who have become a second family to me, and being able to learn from them all is the greatest perspective shift that could have happened to me at this point in my life, and I will ever so be very grateful for that.
Til next time your fellow Sister in Christ,
Bonnie
Team SC
P Squad
Psalms 18:2
YOLO
