People who know me in person well who are my family, friends and co-workers know I don't really hide my feelings from people. I do not believe in being fake or hiding my emotions. When I am happy I show this by showing them verbal encouragement, sending an encouraging text/message to them, giving them a hug, high fives, maybe even me busting a dance move and so on. God has given me these gifts because of some of the adversity I have gone through in my life. If there is a candy to describe how I am with encouragement I am a Cherry Starburst bright, bold, happy and bursting with encouragement love for everyone!!
There's another side of me though sometimes with not hiding my feelings. There are times in situations where there is a person I would like to call Blakezilla. This person is the dark side of me. I am sorry for not having just the encouraging happy Blake, this is what sin does to us. I wrote a post about likes and comments last week about some of the struggles Satan has used in my life to try to get me down hard. Now when Blakezilla is around this person looks at situations with not a very clear perspective in fact this gets clouded, dark, and even pride comes out in my actions. This is not something I am proud of in fact this breaks Jesus' heart up in heaven. I was looking at some situations going on in my life during this World Race process as unfair, favoritism, and at times ticked off at God. When Blakezilla is around sometimes when I am frustrated at something going on, I may take my glasses off so others can see my face completely, stand with my hands on my hips and say to myself, "Comon now really!!" Why is this happening to me God? Why is so and so getting so many likes, comments, encouragement and everything while I am saying what you put on my heart to this new family of mine and getting almost no likes and so on. How come God I am not getting a BIG anoymous donation or anything yet Comon Now Really God! Ugh!! This sucks!
While I was going through my version of hell during this month someone on my team was listening to my situation and after a while this situation got to the point of the person saying to me, "Blake now your looking at this with the wrong perspective be thankful for what God has provided for you, I am starting to get upset with you now STOP IT!!" Now this hit me because God was saying to me at this moment:
COMON NOW REALLY YOUR BETTER THAN THIS SON. I was being disciplined by God for letting pride creep into me without even realizing it until this starting getting ugly.
A few days ago I sent a message to my moblizer for The World Race about my situation and what I was focused on at the time. She said to me do not focus on your support account for the weekend your already past the first deadline now be the prayer warrior you are and go battle with your teammates for those who have not reached the first deadline.
I allowed pride to creep into my life because I wanted to be blessed by God but God was saying I have given you gifts to minister to people in this new family I have given to you but your not being humble right now Comon now really Blake, your better than this son.
"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others better than yourselves. Don't look out for your interests, but take an interest in others, too."
Philippians 2:3-4 NLT
To be honest most of the time God allows me to reach out to others and put others first. This was not a Blake moment, the Blakezilla came out with pride and lacking humility. I was starting to be concerned with a number and seeing evidence of others caring for me instead of going to Jesus first.
I am reading a book currently called Greater by my Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. Something stuck out to me when I was reading last night. Here's a quote from the book Greater. "Jesus had all of the authority and the power in the world, and He knew it. But in spite of that, He took the lowest place in the room."
Jesus showed his love to his disciples by washing their feet and getting lower than the disciples. This showed His love and humility for the disciples and for the world. Real leaders go to the lowest of the low and don't care what others think of them and who likes them or not.
God called me to The World Race to use the gifts God have given to me to go and encourage other people through teaching/preaching, encouraging others, and being a servant to others just as Jesus did for his disciples. He's calling me to forget about who likes me or not I am not here for them, you are here Blake for my purpose to be a servant for Jesus by showing some Jesus' love (as I call this) to your squadmates and in the countries your serving in the next year. Dig lower because to really be like Jesus you have to be humble and be willing to be the lowest person no matter how many good qualities you have and think your stuff don't stink and so on. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He became the lowest person on earth so we may have a chance of receiving eternal life to live with Him in heaven for eternity.
Want to be a leader for Jesus, you must go down on your own desires for Him to use you with the greatest impact for his glory!
