I don’t know who I am. Did I ever? I might have thought I knew myself but really I don’t. I don’t know what to say when people ask me to tell them about myself. I don’t know what I like anymore. I do not know this girl.
One night last week I had a hard time and I just remember through the tears and emotions knowing that this person is a stranger. Maybe because I’m away from home and the comfortable that these realizations are popping up. Which in a way is kind of great because if I were still home I probably wouldn’t be in this situation. I really don’t know what to say for myself.
So quick pause I’m in my comfy bunk bed in Ecuador and I’m going through all my blogging notes and stumbled upon this one. By the way this was all the way back in South Africa. For those of you wondering, still don’t know who I am lol. I literally just said “lol” but it’s not “lol” at all. Any who I don’t know who I am but I’m starting to learn things about myself and I’m hoping that leads to a road of knowing myself at the end of this journey.
Things Blaize likes (Yes, I know I’m talking in 3rd person just go with it):
My love language- I LOVE receiving flowers
Why? Growing up my mom would always get me flowers for any holiday, birthday,or just because she saw some and thought of me. HELLO best mom EVER! OH also this past weekend our boys got each girl on the squad a little white rose, aren’t they the sweetest?! Love them so much!
I love when people are intentional with spending time with me, I like to be perused, I love when people think I’m funny I don’t know why.
I really like to treat the earth well, I became pescatarian month 2 of the race because I feel bad about eating animals. I love scenery (beach,mountains,etc), I love walking my dog at the house I’m living in, and I’m definitely a sunrise person.
For music I prefer alternative,rock,or old decades (50’s,60’s,70’s,80’s,90’s). I could search for new music for days, it’s dangerous. OH!Just for the record I do enjoy christian and gospel.
I am IN LOVE with Harry Styles (yes one of the dudes from 1D)
Am I ashamed? Never! So in 5 months if anyone wants go to a concert of his with me I’m more than down.
Quite frankly I’m kinda mad at myself for thinking Niall Horan was the cutest out of all of the band. That was Not the case! And what’s worse is I had a life size cardboard cut out of him for 3 years!
*record scratch*
I just shared my deepest darkest secret with every one who is subscribed to my blog and a whole lot of strangers! That’s bold even for me. So if you’re reading this mind ya business.
I think I’ve made my point, but to push it a little more…unpopular opinion but Harry styles is way more attractive and a better musician than Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan,Zayne Malik,and Liam Payne. So now that I’ve added a complete paragraph about my middle school boy band obsession we can move on.
Things Blaize doesn’t like:
Biggest pet peeves- being talked over ( this is how you see the non-christian side of me). Moving on. One sided relationships, being rushed to do something, when someone talks down to me (not my fav), when someone is rude to me but even worse when they’re rude to someone I love. (Absolutely not).
I hate seeing people upset( I’ve realized I have no idea how to comfort crying people) it scares me.
I can’t stand when someone clings to me. (Not my thing)
I absolutely despise the enneagram, I know almost every world racer does the test and most obsess over it but let me tell you why I don’t like it Yes, I have taken it apparently I am a type 4 with a 5 wing. Let me explain that real quick, a type 4 is the individualist, which means I’m not like everyone. I don’t follow all the trends, I use multiple creative outlets, my childhood was “rocky” , I’m an introvert, etc. thing “wing is basically what other number came closest that the test typed you as, mine is an investigator. Ok so some of this is true. BUT my problem with it is people have identity crisis’ with it, well no wonder you’re having a crisis! You’re defining who you are on a test off the internet! Also God didn’t design us to walk around saying “ oh yeah I’m a 4w5 .” First of all you’re not a number you’re whatever your name is… and whoever god has created you to be.
I need to stop I’m getting heated just thinking and typing this.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk:)
Anyway, so far this is me I am unapologetic for being myself, I love flowers, I still have an obsession with One Direction, I hate the enneagram, and I luv da lord.
If this gets any deeper I’ll make a “who is she” blog part 2, but for now this is what I know.
Thanks for taking the time to learn about me, it means a lot to me!!
Also thanks for taking time to read this super duper long blog!
See ya next week- Blaize 🙂
