Do you ever sit and wonder what connects us all? Like at the core of every person what is the central force binding us together as people? What is the common, most intrinsic desire of the human race? I think about this a lot, always have. I remember being a kid sitting in the back seat of a beat up, old, navy blue, Ford Explorer, “Step By Step” blasting in the speakers and windows down as my mom drove all over our town. I remember sitting there in the back seat, in my booster seat actually, and wondering these things as I watched people in other cars pass by. I remember it so clearly because ever since then, that thought has plagued me. Through middle school, high school, and college, that one question has been the single most revisited thought in my mind. I love to people watch and just think about every story that is passing before me, what connects these stories, these lives. As a YoungLife leader I spent lots of time flipping the pages of GHS yearbook, praying over the faces and the names I saw, wondering what stories lay beneath the forced smiles, and wondering what was at the heart of them all.
What do we all need?
Well folks, with my 21 years of experience, about 15 years of pondering, and eight countries under my belt, I think I’ve found my answer.
Before I tell you my profound thoughts on the matter, and if you’re about to click out and leave this blog because you think I’m gonna write all about the sweet resounding gong of love, just hang tight. I’m not about to talk about love. Yes, love is absolutely a factor (an important one at that) but something else has to come first, something so much more tangible than love.
So, here it goes:
PEOPLE NEED TO BE SEEN
Another slight cliché I know, but quite possibly the most important one out there.
Before we can be loved, we have to be seen. Seeing people is the simplest, most tangible way to love someone, yet one of the most neglected, especially in our fast paced American culture.
“Love has no borders”
“Love transcends language barriers”
Seeing people transcends language barriers.
Seeing a person can change their life.
Some of my sweetest, most memorable connections on the race have been with people I haven’t been able to even say one word to. You know why? Because we slowed down long enough to see each other.
I’d like to know on average, just going about our daily life, how many people we walk past who are considering suicide because they feel invisible. Meanwhile, we trudge on through the masses transfixed by something on our phones. How many times have we avoided eye contact with the homeless man sitting outside the grocery store, whether subconscious or intentional, because if we don’t see him, somehow the problem isn’t ours. Do you know the impact eye contact has? If we took the time to slow down and see every person we interacted with throughout our days, what would this world look like?
This month at Eden, a mental health facility in Bloemfontein, South Africa, I live with 110 mentally or physically handicapped people, only a handful of which speak English. (Did you know there are 11 different languages in South Africa, not to mention the several other languages from surrounding countries, making communication CRAZY!) For a multitude of reasons communication with the residents can be difficult, but we can look them in the eyes when they talk to us, in whatever language they use. We can smile and we can laugh with them. What a powerful thing it is to see someone who has been told over and over again by society, “You’re not worthy of being seen.” Our host told us with a heavy heart that the residents who live here are “the people that no one wants”. My team gets an entire month to show them that they ARE wanted.
THEY ARE SEEN.
I got the privilege of painting nails with my teammate Hannah one-day last week. It was by far my favorite day here. We walked the halls of Eden with four colors of nail polish in hand. I painted more nails than I can count that day. The women’s faces lit up every time, even the ladies who were too shy to talk. You know why? Because it was so much more than nail polish. These women felt seen and when they felt seen, they felt confident, and when they felt confident they were radiant.
Who are you going to see today? Your grocery store bagger, a Walmart front door greeter, the clerk at your local gas station, the person running next to you on the treadmill (don’t fall), your friendly Starbucks barista, what about your family? Will you see them today or will you just pass by?
