“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The first time I remember this verse connecting with the synapses in my brain was when a pastor and dear friend read it over me as I cried on the floor in his office. It was the summer after learning that my parents were getting divorced. It was the summer after learning my strength, my rock, my foundation was no more.
My strength was in my ‘perfect’ family. I knew that no matter who or what stood against me, I always had them. And that was right and sweet and good. My strength was in my reputation of being a good girl. Both those things were gone. Flat out gone, and with that, so was my strength. Though I hadn’t stop believing in God during any of this, I certainly did not follow Him as I drank my feelings away and partied enough to [try to] make myself believe I could find and build another new foundation on what others thought of me.
But my strength was gone. And then, my pastor read the Scripture to me:
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness”…
Well, Jesus, I am weak. I don’t have a stable family any more. I don’t have a stable set of friends. I don’t even know who I am or what the point of all this is.
His grace is sufficient. I still want to understand this more at the core of my being. Four years later and I still want to know and believe with every atom of me that His grace has covered my sins, not mistakes- sins. This past year, He has covered me with the grace to believe I am clean. He has covered me to believe that He won’t pull the rug out from under me. He is covering me to believe I don’t have to feel guilt or shame any longer, and to be alright with the fact that I am not perfect.
What do you struggle to believe? What are your weaknesses?
Do you believe that when you are weak, He is strong? I believe it. He has healed my vocal chords when I’ve had nothing left, that I may sing out His songs to lead others. He has supplied words or confidence when I’ve been cussed out or spoken against for the sake of the gospel. Oh my goodness, I am nothing without Him! His grace certainly is sufficient. Silly, fickle, human me forgets that.
But even still, Lord, you bring me to the end of myself. I am weak. Help my unbelief. Help my brothers and sisters to reconcile themselves with their weaknesses. Grant our hearts the peace that you are greater and more powerful than any of them combined. In our weaknesses, you are strong. In all, you are I AM.
