Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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My toilet is a hole in the ground. The electricity is out. I get my water from a bucket. I have no air conditioning. I eat food made over coals. I work out with the cows and chickens. I wake up to everyone else’s alarm but my own. I crave junk food one day and healthy food the next. I can’t bank on a solid bowel movement and I’ve had my fill of instant coffee. Watching movies on my laptop is the closest thing to a movie theater. Paved roads are a thing of the past and hiding anything from anyone is impossible. My clothes have stains and holes. I’ve run out of makeup and I’m in Africa where there’s little hope of finding products I’m familiar with. I can’t eat what I want and having a glass of wine with dinner is culturally unacceptable. I hoard chocolate like a squirrel. I cuddle with my favorite teammate during feedback. I endure hours without eating and being clean is a rarity.

I know why I left luxury to live simply. It was time for me to truly live. I heard the whisper there was something more and it was time to give up all that I held dear. To live apart from all the things that brought me happiness and meet the people that would change me.

Yes, I needed to move to truly see the world. I needed to leave to find my heartbeat. I needed to leave my luxury and struggle through the lack, wants and needs. Why would someone want to leave all they had worked for to go on the search for the uncertain?

God wanted to take everything away that once defined me and show me who I truly am. It’s frustrating to be in a place that’s so unfamiliar, so risky and sometimes lonely. I’ve always run away when things got too tough or found different means to find satisfaction. I never actually faced myself, my sin and sought the face of God because I filled my life with luxury.

Am I happy all the time? No. Am I filled with all the answers and feel contented in the midst of not getting what I want? No. One thing I am,  is more aware of my need for God, my need for community and I hear God speaking to me. Thank God he doesn’t give me everything I want, or I’d be missing out on all the lessons he wants to teach me. For once, I see how much I need my character developed.

Yeah, I may be making a sacrifice of luxury to serve God and learn who I truly am. I may also be missing out on a more stable lifestyle, but I’m seeing the world through his eyes. I may not be getting engaged, married, pregnant or seeing all my dreams come true. I feel disconnected from home and from people I’ve known and loved and that’s hard. I feel like people won’t understand me when I get home, but I have to believe that my life is not my own.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but everyday I realize how much more needs to change in me. Sometimes its so overwhelming, that I just break, take things out on my team and feel I completely isolated. I’m more comfortable complaining, but God always draws me in and says “you’re made for this, take me at my word and obey me.” My hope is that I don’t just survive the simple life but that I have the abundant life Jesus promised me.