The Lord doesn’t miss a thing. He sees it all. He hears it all. His love is everywhere. He is everywhere. He was in Uganda before we came, when we came, and He will remain even as we leave.
However, that is something I have been struggling with since we left Uganda. It isn’t because I don’t trust God. But I am learning that I am the kind of girl who needs to see results. I want to see the fruit of the labor. I want to see where the people I poured into end up. Will they follow the Lord? Will they have food next month? Will the kids get the school fees they need for the year? Will they grow up safely? I want to know. I hate not knowing what will happen. And that is especially sinking in now that we are gone.
Driving away from our home in Uganda was heart wrenching. I wanted to breakdown, weep, and cry out to the Lord. But I couldn’t. Instead, I sat in silence for most of the 2 hour ride back to the capital. And then, on the way to Rwanda, I spent most of the 14 hour bus ride trying to distract myself from sitting and processing how I felt. (I had 45 other people on the bus to talk to, so my time was filled with them!)
I was angry. I was sad. And I was anything but positive. It wasn’t fun to feel all those emotions. I wanted to just sit with the Lord and process. I wanted Him to tell me the future. I wanted Him to tell me I could stay in Uganda with those people. I wanted Him to let me fix it all. But that isn’t MY job, that is HIS job.
Now that we are in our next country, I have had plenty of time to sit with the Lord and just talk it out with Him. I am learning that I have no choice BUT to trust God. It is my only option. I can’t stay back in Uganda, I can’t fix all the problems I saw and I can’t protect the kids. But God can. He can be there, He can fix the issues, and He can protect them. So, I am left to trust that He WILL do that. And I know that He will.
Coming to that truth, and fully believing it, wasn’t easy. I had to sit in the struggle of questioning the goodness of God. I found myself asking Him, “God, I know that You are good, but then why do all these bad things happen?” God is good AND there is suffering. I had to come to a peace that God is still good in the suffering, in the bad things, in the pain. He is still good. His goodness is NOT conditional. In understanding that truth, I was able to come to a peace that I probably won’t receive an answer to why bad things still happen. But I know that He is still good in those moments. And I have no choice but to trust Him in it. (Or else, I will go crazy!)
Uganda, this is where I leave you: in the hands of the Father. He was with you before we came, He was with you when we were there, and He is there even now. He will not leave you. He won’t forsake you. He sees you. He loves you. And He is good. Always.
To our supporters, thank you for bringing us this far. We have been able to see the Father’s heart more and more each day as we gaze into the eyes of His people here in Africa. We are diving into Month 2: Rwanda and are really excited for what is to come this month! Please continue to pray for us and our squad.
We have 15 days to raise $6,000. We know we can do it with YOUR help. Will you please consider partnering with us? We know God isn’t done using us yet on this journey. Click “Support Me!” at the top of page. We love you! We thank you! We welcome you into this journey with us!
We have a recap video uploaded to our Facebook. However, we have been unable to upload it to YouTube due to slow internet. If you would like to view our video, just check out my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ashspriggs
We are hoping to post this video to YouTube once we have a solid day to sit at a space with Internet. Thanks!
