Have you ever met someone when they were on their death bed? Like literally, the first time you meet someone is when they are dying before you. I can officially say that I have. And it was heartbreaking. Because the only moment I will ever have with this guy was while he lay lifeless on his bed, living his last moments on earth. And I felt such a pressure to make that moment perfect. But I stood their speechless. Nothing. I said nothing.
Let me back up and tell you the story. We were at ministry and it was already a very long day. The team was exhausted, as was our host, and we were leaving one village heading to the next village. We were running late, like really late. And our host was in a hurry to get to the next site (and rightfully so!). We were with the village pastor who was persistent that we pray for every house in the entire village. It was chaotic and there was a lot of tension between the village pastor and our host pastor because we were pressed for time. As we were leaving, our host pastor got on his motorbike with our translator and Billy and took off for the next village. The rest of the team was following behind in the tuk-tuk (small yellow auto) with the village pastor and our driver, Elisha. As we were driving out of the village, the pastor motioned for Elisha to stop and pray for just one more house.
At this point our team was growing frustrated.
Our host pastor was already gone with our translator so we had no way of communicating that we needed to keep driving so that we could get to the next village. (Like I said, we were already late. Hours late). The village pastor didn’t understand. He insisted we go and pray for this person. We kept saying “No. We have to get to the next village.” But he kept pointing to the home. Finally, he said the word that gripped our hearts. “Cancer. Cancer patient.” I froze in that moment. I couldn’t discern if what I was feeling was compassion or guilt. My heart broke because the man he wanted us to pray for was a dying cancer patient yet at the same time my heart broke because I felt guilty for almost missing an opportunity to pray for this man. A part of me wanted to sit in the auto and “watch the bags.”
But my feet moved without me thinking.
Next thing I knew, Julia & I were walking into this mans home. But when we arrived, it wasn’t what I expected. In fact, it was worse than I imagined it would be. We walked into the home where the wife was bathing her husband. I have never seen such despair in one moment.
The wife looked completely hopeless and the husband was laying there completely lifeless.
I knew we were going to pray. It was why we came. But the entire time I was standing there, I truly didn’t know what to pray for. I was speechless and heart broken. Later, I learned that Julia also didn’t know what to say and all she could pray for was hope and comfort. We could have prayed for healing, and in my heart I certainly did. But out loud, Julia spoke peace and comfort over this couple. And we know that was what the Holy Spirit wanted in that moment.
After we prayed we thanked the wife for letting us pray with her and as we walked away I was hit with disappointment. I wanted to run back in there and pray with that man until healing came from Heaven. I wanted to sit with him until I saw life come back into his eyes. I wanted to embrace the wife with an embrace from the Father until she felt hope again.
As we got back into the auto I felt a wave of peace. The Lord whispered sweet truth to me on the drive to the next village. He said,
“Daughter, you saw a piece of brokenness. My heart breaks too. I see them. Don’t think that I don’t. I was there before you came, I was there with you, and I will remain as you leave. Thank you for doing your part. Now, let me do mine.”
This wasn’t about me. It was about the Lord. And in that moment I got it. Even for a moment, I was able to impact this couple by showing them love through my presence.
So yes, I only got one moment to meet this man and his wife. But that moment wasn’t mine to have. It was the Holy Spirit’s. You see, I cannot change the world. I cannot bring healing. I cannot bring salvation. But Jesus can. That is His part. My part is to act in faith, stand in the gap, and bring Jesus to where my feet are planted. And I did that. Even though I stood speechless, I was being Jesus. In that moment my spirit was stirring and my heart was crying out to the Father. And He heard me.
I encourage you to look around you. In moments where you see brokenness and cannot fix it, how can you be Jesus? Allow you presence and your prayers to carry you through those moments. The Holy Spirit is at work, even when you cannot see it. Just do your part and allow God to do His.
Thank you to all who have supported us and prayed for us this far in our journey. We CANNOT express how grateful we are! We are currently $7,500 away from being fully funded!! Our deadline is December 31st. Will you consider partnering with us and the Kingdom of God? To donate click “Support Me!” at the top of the page. (All donations are tax-deductible).
