Walking into the unknown can be unsettling
at times. Everything I was doing was new, something I had never done before
much less even thought of doing. There I was, leading a team of girls in
Thailand ready to do ministry in the slums & streets that were filled with
hungry children, empty women and lost men.
“Where do I even begin?!?! What do I
do?!?! ” were some of the many questions that were filling my mind.
At that moment, I felt completely inapt to
lead or even to speak to the women at the bars. The lies of the enemy were
becoming a storm, rocking my boat as they aimed to sink it.
I called out to my Father, “How do I lead
this team if I don’t know what to do?”
His words poured into my spirit so loudly,
full of authority & love causing all
lies to become silent and the storm to cease.
Here is my
confession:I
did not know what I was doing or have answers to questions the majority of the
time. I did not know what I was doing even five minutes before we did ministry.
But I was at peace with all of this.
God set me free from believing that as a missionary, as a leader,
and as a Christian I had to know what I was doing. My Father’s words were just
what my weary spirit needed, “You
don’t have to know. I never said you had to know. I will
take you by the hand and lead you. I am your peace and your compass in the storms
of life”.
A month has passed and guess what? I still
don’t have all the answers. I still don’t know what I will do tomorrow or even after
this journey comes to an end.
Yet, I am at peace.
It is in the moments filled with most
uncertainty that my Father is glorified because I lean on Him for direction and
guidance.
So let us stop acting. Let us show the
world that we, His children, don’t have all the answers. Let us show the world
that our lives are not picture perfect. Let us show the world that we too have
our struggles, in them they will see our Father working things for our good.
Let us show the world our weaknesses; in this they will see God perfected. Let
us show the world our pain and hurt, in this they will see the power of Holy
Spirit to comfort and bring healing.
The world is not looking for a
perfect Christian. It’s looking
for truth. It’s looking for hope. It’s looking for what is not of this world. It’s looking for
our Father, perfect love
and salvation. May my life in its imperfections point to Him.
