The more I think about me leaving in July… the more I start to realize “Hey.. I’m REALLY LEAVING in JULY!” That is only 6 months away… I know it’s going to fly by..
There are so many decisions that have to be made. My apt lease ends in April..but I leave in July, should I sublet or move out?
When should I start selling all the furniture I have? Where are my two cats going to live? What about my bills? Do I really believe I’m going to be able to rise all the funds I need..almost 15,000?
So all these questions come to my mind, and I’m such a visual person. I get distracted so easily. I had to sit myself down and reevaluate WHY I want to go on this World Race..
And then when I see videos of the social injustice in our world…and the people all around us who are looking for HOPE..and I mean even us here in America.. we are all in NEED, my focus returns..
I hesitate to say that I’m going to help “those in need”, because we all are in need. Here in America the majority of our “needs” no one can see visibly, they are hidden inside our souls, but they are just as real as the homeless person we see on the street.. Our needs are for LOVE, Purpose in life, Hope, Peace…these are needs that I pray the World Race will help meet.
And then there are the blatant physical needs of those in third world countries, like food, clothing, shelter, trafficking victims…Those needs I pray that God would help me meet during the World Race too..
Though needs vary..there is only ONE answer..it’s not money, it’s not a significant other, it’s not anything material…It’s the insanely radical, and unconditional love of Jesus that meets every need. Because He encompasses everything that our human bodies can ever desire for. He is capable of miracles, and life changing encounters..He’s all that and more..
The past week His love has been made so real to me all over again. His kindness, His strength. The joy that I have in Him, regardless of the circumstance around me…
I’m no one special, I’m not better than anyone, I am full of mess ups and screw ups. But that doesn’t turn God away from me.. He loves me still, and that amazes me.. and that Love is what I want to share with whoever I come across..with my friends, strangers, people in countries around the world.
I can’t stay here.. though I want to.. I have to go..because that’s what I have to do…My life is not about what I want.. it’s about what He wants.. and ultimately He designed me, and He knows what would make me the happiest..And so I go… and all the fears and questions I have will be answered as I continue to walk in faith…
And not one other person, but God, will be able to get all the credit..
Agenda: Love
Bethsaida
