’09 began with a ray of hope..and that ray was quickly snuffed out by reality
But a good reality..because it was a false hope.. a hope deferred..and by God’s grace it was put back in place..
There was a lot of mending done in my heart this year..brought on by God’s love and, ambassadors of His love..one..a book.. The Shack, and reminding me how “especially fond” God is of each and every one of us.
I came into acceptance of myself, my personality, my looks, who I am..and stopped comparing myself, and stopped trying to fit someone else’s standards or ideals of who I should be… But found security in who Christ made me to be..my likes, dislikes, hatreds, loves…and I will not ever allow anyone to try to make me alter who He made me to be…again
The summer changed my life..but not in the way I was expecting..it wasn’t through a potential music album, it wasn’t through the t.v. show I was going to host..it was something completely opposite of main stream media, or pop culture…it was the deafening cry of injustice that my ears were finally able to hear.
Being exposed to the issue of human trafficking..and fighting against it…my life can never be the same…not ever….Another book “Irresistible Revolution” confirmed that..
And the September benefit event for Restore NYC was the beginning of the end, and the end of life as I knew it…
The journey has really begun since then, and will continue with the world race in 2010..
Wonderful friendships were made and lost in ’09.. each relationship either for a moment, a season, or reason
Decisions made were wise and foolish in ’09….but a lesson learned through each one
Plans were made and spoiled in ’09.. all with a final and perfect purpose in the end
My heart was mended and broken in ’09..for many different reasons, and produced many different results.. each resulting in growth
but one thing that truly remained the same was God’s faithfulness, patience, and grace towards me..
I know this too will guide me into and throughout 2010..
2010: My agenda is to love… Even if I’m rejected, denied, worn out, tired, jaded, hurt, abused,lied to, used,scoffed at, ridiculed, forgotten, taken advantage of…love
Agenda: Love,
Bethsaida
