So as the time for me to leave is drawing near, I often find myself battling with thoughts that are keeping me here in NYC and thoughts that are calling me to go. The majority of reasons why I would stay in NYC are quite foolish and selfish, but then there are the people, family, friends and students…yes students..that I will miss terribly. One student in particular.
Since he was in second grade he has been what most people would call a “trouble maker”. When I would walk pass his classroom three years ago, I would more than not see him causing some kind of mischief or sitting in a chair away from the rest of the class. I would always walk by and give him a scolding face and ask him why he was behaving the way he was. He would always blame the teacher.. like it was her fault. Meanwhile, it’s his behavior.
I had his brother that same year, who I always had a soft spot for too. He was also what many would call a “trouble maker”, but I always tried to give him a chance. Though he would drive me crazy some days, I know he was one of the students God allowed me to have, so that I can learn more about grace. And BOY was that lesson hard! But I started to learn and tried to teach him about grace too.
Well, James (not real name) barely made it through second grade and of course was a handful in third grade too. Now he was on my floor and I got to give him scolding looks and heart to heart talks more than I did in second grade. Nothing seemed to get through to him. And even still I was looking forward to having him in my fifth grade class. This was before I felt called to go on the race.
When I knew I had to go on the race, James was a person that came into my mind. See James, and his brother (my former student), and sister have a very young mother who is battling cancer. She had a couple near death experiences when James was in second grade. And I was able to talk with her and build some type of relationship with her. So I thought “Man, I won’t be able to have James in my class.” He’s in fourth grade now, and though there was no guarantee, I would have requested him to be in my class next year.
After I was accepted into the race I would pray often that God would give me the opportunity to love James the way Christ loves, and to show grace the same way God has shown me grace. Because it was God’s kindness and love that changed me, and that is what so many of these inner-city kids need.. to be shown grace and not always told they are “bad” kids.
So I thought the opportunity to be kind to him would come in the form of me being an after school teacher, but I didn’t get the position, though I was so SURE I was going to get it. So that was disappointing for a couple of reasons.But last Sunday I was praying for James and his family at church. and I told God so quietly in my heart “Lord, will I ever get a chance to show him Your love before I leave?”
SO.. back to work on Monday.. and who is walking side by side with the asst. principal.. James. He had a sub and was acting out way too much for her to handle. And who does the asst. principal decide to leave him with out of all the teachers? ME! Wohoo!
So he sat in my class all morning, I gave him work and was very strict with him, but tried to encourage him because he did wonderfully in math! His smile was so precious. When he left my class, I gave my asst. principal a note saying to feel free to bring James to my classroom whenever he acts up, and that I didn’t mind. And so yesterday he brought him over again! He was in my class the whole day and I got to really speak to him and encourage him. I can’t wait till the next time James acts up! (good for me, not so good for his poor teacher..lol)
I was so blessed in my heart because God heard my little prayer, and it was just more confirmation for me to go on this trip.
I’m sooooooooooo thankful that the God I have chosen to serve, cares about every single detail and concern in my life. And He is soooooooooooo real. Nothing can sway me on that. And so it’s that same Love that spurs me on. It’s that Love that I want to share with anyone I encounter. And it’s that Love that makes me want to be concerned about their concerns.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I know you all have busy schedules.. and be encouraged that a “broken and sincere heart” God will not pass by (Psalm 51:17)
Agenda: Love,
Bethsaida
