Written 9/30/2010
So there seems to be a trend that is starting with me… it’s been going on the past two months… and the trend is that I bottle in the expression of love inside my heart the entire month, then the last day or two of the month I let it all out with such a force that I feel like my heart is shaking….and breaking…
What triggered off the flow of tears last month was the Canaan children giving us letters of thanks and appreciation our last day there. It just made me rewind the entire month of being able to love those children, and being loved on by them.
And what triggered it off this month was Michael Flynn. He was the cause for my breakdown this month. A catalyst that made me recap the entire month and how God spoke to me this month, and what He showed me this month, including through Michael’s story.
Michael lives at Betel House. He’s been living there for about a year and a half. Betel House is a Christian home for men who want to end their drug and alcohol addiction.
Dressed in a working man jumpsuit with a collared shirt, and denim jeans underneath.. I was mysteriously drawn to him. It might have been the witty comments I overheard him saying, or the smile that glows off his handsomely wrinkled face…but I was just drawn to Him.
I didn’t have a chance to talk to him much the first night. But I was intrigued about why I was so drawn to him. I didn’t fully understand until tonight.
My team and I went back to Betel House to eat dinner and lead a service. When we got to the house, I gravitated directly towards Michael. He has such an inviting presence. He mentioned that he wasn’t feeling well, and that he might have caught the flu. Mari and I prayed for him after dinner, and I prayed that God would strengthen him ( I admitted in the prayer that part of it was selfish because I wanted to hear his story =) We went on to have the service, and Michael was no where to be found. I assumed he went up to his room to rest.
The service went so beautifully. My teammate Julian shared his story of how God changed his life, and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to sing “Amazing Grace.” But before I sang, I felt to encourage us all to really think about the words and how truly AMAZING God’s grace is.. His undeserved favor on us.
After the service, we all went back inside the house to eat no bake cookies. Michael emerged, looking tired and melancholy. I cheeringly asked him how he was feeling. And he just very somberly replied. “Not too good.” In the midst of this small talk my teammate Mari asked if I read Michael’s story. I said no. And so Michael went to go get the article that his story was featured in. I sat down, and began to get blown away by Michael’s story.
Michael was abused as a child, and he was addicted to drugs for a little over 3 DECADES. If you name it, he was on it. In the article he talked about how rebellious he was, and prideful he was. He contracted H.I.V and Hepatitis C. And he lost a marriage due to alcohol and drugs.
His life changed one night when someone broke into his house and beat him senselessly. He was near death. The people at the hospital thought he would never make it. But he said at that moment he encountered God. He said there was a light that he saw…And his life changed from that day on.
I thought reading the article was powerful enough.. little did I know that it was only the appetizer. Speaking to him after, I couldn’t shut off the faucet of tears. His love for Jesus, and his passion for Jesus was both an encouragement and a challenge.
In my head I’m thinking “Here is a man who has H.I.V and Hep C. and he’s talking about God’s goodness!” Jesus CHANGED his life!!! ” God knew I needed a sharp blow to my head”. That was the only way God could get his stubborn, hard-headed attention, and humble him. He said that so many times before, he would get beat up or put in terrible situations, and he prided in himself for getting out of them. But the last situation, he had no choice but to give God credit in saving his life.
“ I don’t want a God that is reliable, I want a God that is desireable”
He said how he doesn’t want a relationship where God is a “credit
card” God. He wants to desire God more and more everyday, not just in
tragic or bad situations.. I agree..
Michael shared some of the struggles he’s going through now. His body gets sick easily, and his once limber artistic hands are now starting to show signs of arthritis. He also talked about how all of his friends are dead except for 2, and expressed his wonderment in how God has kept him alive. He shared that he doesn’t know how much longer he will be living
“God has no problem in bringing people from earth to heaven, his problem is getting people to bring heaven to earth.”
He said that if his life story brings people to Christ, then it’s all worth it.
Dear Michael Flynn,
It’s all worth it.. You brought me that much closer to Jesus. Thank you.
He told me this is his favorite song right now…Love (True Love) came to his town…
Agenda: Love,
Bethsaida
