So, I’m about to let you into something super personal—my conversation with God this morning. Normally I do my quiet time with God at night, but today I woke up with God ready to have a conversation with me. And this is how it went:
Me: I was thinking about what Teresa (our squad mentor that is staying with our squad for this month) asked me yesterday about making my faith my own, and I told her I had prayed the sinner’s prayer two years ago, but I’m not sure if I actually said it.
God: Yes, you did.
Me: Then why is my memory of it hazy?
God: Because dates are not your strong point, perse.
Me: But I want to know a date or at least a specific instance, there has been so much confusion in my life and I don’t want this to be one of those times. It bothered me more than I thought it would that I can’t remember.
God: You said it at Strayer (my home church in Toledo) when you went up for an alter call.
Me: Yea, but with that I do remember thinking that I didn’t need that because I had said it sometime before.
God: Do you want to know for sure then, once and for all?
Me: Yes.
God: Then say it again, one last time and mark it down that today is the day that you fully choose to give your life to me—without any doubts.
Me: Is that bad/makes everything in the past invalid?
God: No. I know you are a person who likes numbers and finite things and having this strong aspect will give you a concrete fighting point to combat the spiritual warfare in your life.
Me: Okay.
God: Are you ready?
Me: Yes.
God: Then go.
Me: Okay, here it goes. God, I know I’ve said it before, but I want to know for sure that I am saved by your grace and that I will spend all of eternity with you. Please come into my life once and for all. I know I am a sinner in my flesh, but that you take that sin away from me for good. I don’t want to doubt your place in my life any longer and I want to fully surrender every aspect to you. Thank you for being my savior and coming into my life and wiping me clean of ALL of my sins. I have been made as pure as snow in your eyes and I am so thankful for that. I love you so much and thank you for your ever-fighting love for me as well. I thank you for your patience and reassurance and ever-fighting Spirit for me. I love you and love that you love me too. In your most precious and holy name, Amen!
God: So, now, on this day: September 17, 2017 you have officially become a daughter in my Kingdom once and for all—beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Me: Thank you, do I need to tell people about this?
God: No you don’t have to, but making it real to others will help solidify it in your mind so that doubts do not creep in.
Me: Yeah that makes sense. Thank you.
God: You’re welcome, my lovely daughter.
So, although God said I didn’t have to tell people, because it was personal in my heart, I decided to tell my team that morning and they were super excited for me.
Coincidentally (more like a God thing) today was baptism day at the morning church. Three of my squad mates were planning on getting baptized after the service and during the service I asked Teresa is we could go talk in the back for a minute. So we did; and I told her all of what I just told you guys about what happened this morning and asked her if I could join in on the baptism. And she said “of course!”
So right at the end of the service, before the baptism started, the pastor asked Teresa to come up (something they talked about before I even mentioned this to her) and share a last chance to give your life to Christ and then get baptized today. And lo-and-behold, I was the only one to stand up—if you know me, you would know that single-handedly terrified me; however, through the strength of God I did it and joined in on the official next step of a public declaration of my last and final dedication of my life to Christ. Lastly, at the very end of the service, one of the guys on our squad felt God pulling on his heart strings and decided to do his public declaration of his faith and become baptized as well!
I had the privilege of being baptized by my squad leader Maddie!
All of us who got baptized today being prayed over by our squad leaders.
My team/family, Abiding Azar: both me and one of my teammates Lynna got baptized today!
