*Setting the scene*
Somewhere between Mandalay, Myanmar and Yangon, Myanmar.
At a “bus stop” (aka. the side of the road).
Bethany: Sarah, will you go outside with me so I can pee in the bushes?
Sarah: (semi-reluctantly) Sure.
Bethany and Sarah walk off of the bus and find bushes a little bit away so Bethany can squat down to pee without the ENTIRE bus as an audience—not that everyone on the bus didn’t know why they got off in the first place, but nonetheless.
Sarah: (Pointing to the right) There is a guy peeing over there.
Bethany: Well let’s just try not to look, I’m going to pee here.
Bethany does her business and gets ready to recross the ditch she walked over to get to the bushes.
Bethany slips.
Bethany: Up-oh.
Sarah: What? Are you okay?
Bethany: (Looking at her right foot and shoe) Umm… I just stepped in diarrhea—human diarrhea.
Cue internal gagging.
Bethany: *sigh* Well it’s a good thing I have toilet paper in my pocket.
Bethany tries to wipe off SOME of the diarrhea (there was a lot and it squished between her toes before she realized what happened) unsuccessfully.
Bethany: (Thinking to herself) I can’t get on the bus with this—the only place I can fit my feet is on top of my teddy bear!
Bethany: Sarah, will you go get me a water bottle?
Sarah runs to the bus to get a water bottle.
Bethany walks closer to the bus.
The bus drivers and attendant come rushing out with lots of water bottles and panicked looks on their faces.
Bethany: (Thinking to herself) Wow, they are quite thirsty.
The bus people rush over to Bethany and tell her to sit down on the curb.
Bethany: Oh, okay. Thanks.
The bus people begin to help Bethany wash her shoes and feet by pouring water and squirting out shampoo ALL over.
Ashley comes out to see what is happening and to see if she can help.
Ashley brings out a plastic bag.
Ten minutes, 14 bottles of water, a toothbrush, and more shampoo than Bethany used on her head in all of Asia, the bus people just tell Bethany to put her shoes in the bulk storage compartment.
Bethany: (slightly embarrassed) Thank you so much for helping me!
Everyone just laughs as a you’re welcome.
And that is the story of how I stepped in some random person’s diarrhea on the side of the road.
Thankfully Ashley had a second pair of shoes in her day pack so she let me borrow her flip-flops for the rest of the bus ride.
I then was able to wash my sandals a few minutes ago in the bathroom at our hostel—thankfully it actually has a bathtub! So after two free bus towels, two free bus toothbrushes, and two free bus travel toothpaste tubes, my shoes are finally diarrhea free (I think). Hopefully they will be dry before we leave for the airport tomorrow morning!
Gotta love travel days!
