This week has been hard, I’m not going to lie. This week we learned that an elderly women in the community where we do ministry had been killed by a bus about twenty minutes after we left one day. Our host explained to us that the lady had been visiting one of her sick friend to comfort her and this accident happened as she was walking home. The accident happened right in front of her house. My heart immediately broke and the next day we asked our ministry host to take us to the families house to pray for them. We arrived at the home and there were so many people there. Guatemalans have huge families and its common for them to all live together. We greeted the family members we walked past as we were lead to the back of the home to a room. The room held the casket and many flowers and pictures. The immediate family invited us in there to pray with them. The next ten minutes were some of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever experienced. We were all surrounding the casket crying out to Jesus and it’s something I’ll never forget. After praying, we got to speak words of life to the family and we also got to remind the husband of the women that God saw his hurt and he was right there in the room with us comforting him. After this, we ate lunch with the whole family and got to talk to them for a long time. After this time, we headed to Rudy’s house who I’ve mentioned in a blog before this. She is suffering from kidney failure and we go visit her every week to encourage and pray for her. We arrived this week and she was even more swollen than last week and she said she has a tremendous amount of pain throughout her whole body. We prayed multiple times for her and one of my teammates was also able to encourage her with a vision she got of the Lord holding Rudy in is hands. Please join my team and I in prayer for the family that is mourning a loss and also for Rudy as she is in so much pain. Pray for both families to feel the God’s comfort and peace through their sufferings.
Along with all of that heaviness, I’ve been trying to recover from having parasites and salmonella. I learned that being physically super sick doesn’t help at all when you’re super homesick for family and friends. It’s been a week of spending tons of time with the Lord for comfort and for peace. It’s been a week of putting all of my pain and hurt on him for him to carry. I’ve learned a lot on the race that saying “I’m fine” when you’re really facing one of the hardest times in your life doesn’t work. Being vulnerable is HARD let me tell ya. I like to be there for other people to encourage them, but I’m definitely not good at being honest and vulnerable with others in my struggles. There’s something so beautiful about admitting you’re not okay because that opens it up for the Lord to begin to comfort you in ways you don’t even know to ask for. It also is an invitation for my team to encourage me to where I know that I’m not carrying this all on my own.
Isaiah 55:8-9 is a verse that I love. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
No matter how much I think my ways and thoughts are best for me, I’m so thankful that his ways and thoughts for me are way better than I could imagine. His plans of bringing me here are perfect and I have to remind myself to choose to believe that no matter how sad and hard it is for me to be here. He is greater than my sickness, my longing for home, and all of my circumstances. Thanks God that your endless love for me is greater for me than I could ever imagine. Thank you for remaining me of these truths on the hardest of days when I’m ready to quit. Thank you for all you are, all you’ve done, and all you’re going to do here. You’re worthy of all the praise, even when life isn’t fun and doesn’t feel good.
A song on my heart this week is “You Say” by Lauren Daigle.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe
When I feel all of the lies, I’m choosing to believe the truths of who God actually says I am. I’m ready for new week to start over and make it great. I’m excited to see what truths the Lord has to speak over me this next week. I’m thankful that while it might have been the hardest week on this journey so far, God can redeem that with a new week full fo his love, his grace, and his promises.
All my love, Bethany
