For me, this squad leading journey has come in multiple different seasons, or waves, if you will.
There was the initial “Oh Gosh, what did I get my self into” phase that lasted about 10 days before the “what’s my purpose here” wave kicked in.
The Lord literally transformed my life of my original Race. I walked in to the 11 month journey one way and walked out a new and restored.
Before leaving in October, I told the Lord that if he could use me to help do the same kind of healing and restoration in just one Racers life, that this journey would be a success.
I was reminded of this prayer at the end of month one at our first debrief as a squad. I was so humbled and grateful as the members of this squad came to me and began to trust me with the processes the Lord was starting in them.
I felt so unworthy, so under-qualified, and yet so, so thankful.
There it was, there was my purpose; to walk with and alongside these amazingly brave humans as they surrendered pieces of their pasts, hurts, and fears over to the ultimate healer.
Thus began the “Hold Everything Lightly” wave.
Challenges came and went, some easier than others.
It took a few stumbles and a few more reminders from the Lord until I learned to hold each challenge lightly in my hands ready to release and give right back to Him.
Reality is, I’m not someone who loves conflict, in fact I avoid it like the plague, but not here. Here, I get the chance to face conflict head on and play a part in resolving it. Weirdest thing is, now I love it. I love how messiness almost always results in solutions. Messiness is realness, and realness and vulnerability produce solutions.
That wave lasted a long while, and honestly a lot of that phase still is active now, but recently a new wave has come about as I enter the final stretch as an Alumni Squad Leader.
The sentimental wave has hit me hard, so hard I feel like it could knock me right off my feet.
It started two weeks ago when part of our squad was asked to be guests on a local radio station here in The Philippines. It turned in to a bigger deal than expected and 13 of us crammed into a small radio recording booth and shared the truth of the gospel all around this city and around the world via internet streaming.
During a break, I slipped out of the booth and started to observe from the outside. I remember tears welling up in my eyes as one of the squad members began telling her testimony.
She talked of the work of the Lord so far in her journey on the Race and how He used a trip to the hospital and surgery in a third-world country’s hospital to remind her of His never failing faithfulness.
I stood there, on the outside looking in, hearing the radio-version of her words on the nearby stereo and simultaneously watching those same words exit her mouth, and all I could do was stand in awe.
I was in awe of the Lord as I was reminded of His amazing goodness to her through that situation, but I was more in awe of the fact that countless amounts of people in the Philippines, and around the world, were getting to hear those very words.
I almost felt like a proud mom watching her kids use their talents for the Kingdom. Tears began to fall as I thanked the Lord for not only allowing me to be apart of that moment, but most importantly allowing me to be apart of the lives of 37 amazing humans on this incredible journey.
I would like to say that sappy moment stopped there, but nope, it lasted at least 30 minutes more as several other members of the squad shared similar stories and spoke the truth of the gospel over the air-waves.
It’s safe to say that day started this heart-aching “sentimental” phase and multiple events since have continued the wave.
This month, I have watched these squad members use their God-given talents in countless ways. They have performed skits and dramas, sung songs, danced, preached, and told testimonies. We have seen God move in HUGE ways this month. Many have come to accept Christ for the first time and many have renewed their relationship with Him.
Watching this squad give their all for this cause has created in me such a proud and thankful heart.
I have just over one month left on the field with them and my heart is already aching at the thought of leaving them. I have grown such a deep, deep love for each one of these Racers and I am still so humbled to get the chance to take part in their stories. I’m so thankful for this journey, so thankful for the many lessons learned.
I have just under $3,000 left to raise in order to finish out this squad leading commitment in full. Please prayerfully consider partnering with me as I finish out this journey.
