Disclaimer: this blog is boring and unoriginal, read at your own risk. I just really wanted to get one last set of thoughts out there for my supporters before I leave.
I’m not gunna lie. I have some serious writer’s block right now. Which is kind of in keeping with my current inability to feel like I am comprehending anything.
I have a few vague and poorly-formed blog ideas floating through my head, but whenever I start to write one it ends up being dull and directionless.
So forgive me for leaving town without some sort of poetic, heartfelt, nostalgic entry about….something. I don’t know what or I would write it. Instead, I am just going to ramble on about what is on my mind, because I want to have some basis of reflecting on how these last couple of days have felt.
Goodbyes are not fun, and although most of them are behind me, a couple of the hardest are still ahead. I feel sort of like a robot though, with some sort of weird out-of-body experience surrounding saying goodbye to people, because none of it seems real.
And I also have this weird complex about saying goodbye to people. I fear that if I make it a big deal it will seem like some sort of attention-seeking production…but if I play it down I will look ungrateful to my loving supporters and unaffected by the sadness of who I won’t see. But really I just can't wrap my mind around it.
My junk is more or less packed, and I am very interested to see what all in that pile of mess proves unnecessary this year. I am a bit nervous about being over the 40lb limit by a little bit *cough*
I pray I have not neglected to write down something important for my sister, or to complete some task of earth-shattering significance….which, lets be serious, the only people who seem to think they are of this caliber of importance is the IRS, and if they want to track me down in the middle of Nepal, be my guest….they could probably afford to get away for a bit.
But oddly enough, through it all, I have had the most overwhelming and unexpected sense of peace lately. I attribute this completely to God answering the prayers of people who love me, and also see it as my Heavenly Father quietly confirming that I am doing the right thing by going on this trip.
I have had so, so many thoughtful people offering to pray for me and having people they know pray for me. I am 100% certain that this peaceful, cheerful state I have maintained (when I expected to be a nervous/freaked out/self-doubting wreck) is coming through divine intervention and the love of God, and nowhere else. So THANK YOU to those of you who have been praying for me….it is TRULY helping!
At 9:42 on Tuesday morning I will jump on a plane to Fort Lauderdale, have two more days of training with my squad, then head off to El Salvador on Friday for the Big Show.
I hope everyone who has been a part of this amazing, crazy experience so far will continue to follow my blog and pray for me. It has all made a huge, immeasurable difference! If anyone is still thinking about donating, I would be so, so grateful! I will still be fundraising while I am on the field!
The stories are only JUST beginning, so stay tuned! 🙂
Everyone have an amazing 2012! See yall on the flip side in November!
