Twelve days before I left for the World Race, I wrote a blog called "Dance around the World."
In an attempt to get inspired to write a blog to capture my scattered thoughts right now, I looked back through my old blogs and stumbled upon it. I was surprised to find how so much of how I felt then is very paralleled to how I feel now.
Please read the blog I wrote 12 days before I left North Carolina for the World Race to fully appreciate the heart behind this blog.
http://bethanywaddell.theworldrace.org/?filename=dance-around-the-world
"Dance then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He
And I'll lead you on, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance said He."
Picture taken in Entebbe, Uganda by Justin Marshall.
You experience a really weird set of paradoxes when
you will be home from the World Race
in 12 days.
Time sort of seems to have stopped
because that flight to JFK will surely never
really happen.
And at the same time,
you know it will because
even the slowest months this year eventually
DID end.
You alternate between crazy excitement
and mini panic attacks,
because
your family
your car
your friends
your job
your life
…will all be so familiar and yet so
different soon.
And you have a whole new appreciation for the need for
Community
Surrender
Selflessness
Adventure
Jesus
You stare in disbelief at your various
“keeper items”
(which are currently scattered all over your team
mate’s bed)
that you are going to fold and smash and squeeze and cram
into your pack one last time
(with the carefree knowledge that you never have to pack
again)
and hope that you aren’t bringing home
any headlice or bedbugs.
Remembering the list you started with, you laugh
at how differently you would pack if you went again
…it turns out you really could have gone
with just
your Bible and toothbrush.
You realize that what you really want
is more time with those you care about
because what if you never see some of your squad mates
ever again?
or you never know community and fellowship like this again?
And all that “stuff” at home seems like it could wait
because
cold bucket showers and constant bug spray
aren’t
so bad, really.
“You only live once!” has been a constant reprieve
because you can’t NOT jump off of
the bridge or waterfall
or onto an elephants back
or even onto
one of your team mate’s backs while running across
a scary intersection.
So you go ahead and eat the scary street food
worship with your team
and
videotape your team acting ridiculous
while trying to scare the monkeys
off of the porch.
You hope and pray and trust God
that somehow there will be time and strength
for all the goodbyes
and hugs
and tears
and prayers
so that you can have peace that this season really IS
over.
And trusting that He will give you peace,
even if some of the goodbyes
really are
final
and the World Race becomes just another chapter
in your book of
memories.
Then you hear someone tell a story from month 3
and everyone laughs at how far we have come
and you praise God that this whole thing really did
happen
Even if now it is…
the end.
And suddenly you remember the biggest lesson
you have learned,
and you know there is no reason to be afraid of the next
season,
because your Father always says
“Just,
Trust Me.”
You remember the time He used you to care for a young man
dying
because of the
injustice of his
circumstances.
The times He led you down quiet dirt roads to sit with
children and share cookies
crayons
and
Jesus.
The many times you held a tiny orphan
in your arms until they were
laughing and
knowing that they were
loved.
And you realize that, as hard as it is to leave your beloved
E squad,
It is time to take your
focus back to your own
neighborhoods
loved ones
churches, even.
To share the glory of His name and His power and His work
this year.
You remember that it really IS all just
a dance
in which God stuck out His hand and said
“Don't let go of my hand, sweet daughter.
"Follow me. I
want to take you
back home for a while.
But don’t worry, it is always
our dance.”
So you laugh at your team mates silly dance moves,
de-lice yourself one last time
plan superlatives for final debrief
and start cramming stuff back into your pack
one
last
time.
I am hopping on a plane in 12 days to dance my way back home to friends, family, comforts, and the next season.
Never felt so blessed.
~Pinterest~ A little girl I loved on in India every
chance I got.
